What is Yoga 308

Life is a constant struggle of balancing our body on both a physical and emotional side. Through yoga I have learned several life lessons. Yoga 308 is a goal I set for myself to do at least 60 minutes of yoga for 6 days a week for the next year. I invite anyone to join me on this adventure as I blog about some of my daily experiences. This is not intended to show that I have found peace and tranquility, but rather give my honest feelings of my journey. Enjoy.

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Day 87 - The day to get scared

Halloween has always been exciting for me.  I love getting scared or trying to get scared.  Why does it take Ghosts, Witches, and Haunted Houses for us to try to face our fears.  Maybe we should be looking at Halloween a little differently.  Maybe today should be the opportunity to face our fears.   Everyone has fears.  Why not pick one and do something that is scary to you.

Try out that handstand you have feared.  Go fill out a new job interviewing form.  Tell someone you love them.  Wear a funny costume.  Go to that place you have always wanted to go, but some fear has not let you.  Take a chance.  Please Note I am naming all healthy things.

Tonight I am taking yoga into my own home.  I am getting ready to hand out candy tonight and want to make sure I have enough time.  I will be doing a listen to my body and go with my flow night.

Go get scared!

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Day 86 - Be ok with my emotions

I am back in Orlando and back to Orlando Power Yoga for a class with Beth Stone.  It was good to be back into something familiar, and Beth is such a great instructor.  She is a loving and caring individual and it shows in her class.  I was also glad to be sweating and in a hot room again.  Vacation is a great place to take a break from a routine, but I also love the place I am in now.

Leaving Denver was a little emotional for me.  I love Colorado, and there is a big piece of me that wants to be there.   There is a lot of anger and hatred still found in my heart from my divorce, and being there stirs these emotions up.  This leads to me feeling frustrated for feeling this anger and hatred as if I am not supposed to feel these emotions any more.  As if I am not aloud to feel these emotions.  I am often my worst enemy.  I am still dealing with things, and have to allow myself to just be ok with some mistakes I have made in my past.

Beth said something today that helped me come to grips with my emotions.  She was saying how she felt both sad and happy today, reminding me that life is not always perfect.  We do not have to stay in one emotion.  We go through our days shifting from excitement, happiness, sadness, anger, and whatever comes up.  I like to try to act like I should not feel certain emotions.  Like I am supposed to always be happy, excited, loving, ect.  I do not allow myself to be these other "negative" emotions easily.  Yesterday I was angry and sad for about 2 hours in the airport.  I was frustrated for feeling these emotions.  And then I was happy again followed by excited to be home.  To me these are signs that I am growing healthy again.

This anger and sadness is probably going to stay in my heart for some time.  It is part of who I am.  The past is the past.  It is never to be changed.  The only thing we can do is learn from our past and use it to go into the future.

Yoga was a great centering for me today.  I look forward to my next visit to Colorado and am glad to be in my home tonight in Orlando.  I am at peace with the now :)

Monday, October 29, 2012

Day 85 - Escape

Happy Meatless Monday again :)

Well I am on my way back to Orlando to get. back to work.  I was able to stop by Vital Yoga one more time this morning.  It was another Vinyasa Flow class.

As I started to say yesterday my weekend was filled with a lot of friends and party's.  I started to think of the balance that we need between fun and work, pleasure and discipline, or self and the rest of the world.  I am very much a reclusive person who is just fine in social gatherings.  The older I get though I find myself finding more and more comfort at home, but I also feel like I get so many great ideas when I go out into the world.  Most of my activities that I enjoy like yoga, painting, running, or snowboarding do not rely on other people to have a good time.  However if you read back on some of my blogs I can easily get lost in my mind if I do too much alone time.  There is a good balance that I need to help maintain that.

I am looking forward after this weekend to getting back to painting, work, and everyday life.  My time here in Denver was great, but there was some overwhelming moments for me.  The first night I was with a ton of my friends and I was ready to just let loose and enjoy the night.  I started to think about the reasons and ways we let go of our paths, thoughts, ideas, and just kick back and relax.  There are so many types of escapes in this world.  For me and many it used to be drugs and alcohol.  We justify out lives with things like... I had a long day so I need to have a beer.   I am in a large crowd of people so I need a drink.  I can't do something unless I have some substance in me.

For me the drugs and alcohol are gone, but the need to relax, calm, or get away from the mind is still there.   So maybe we turn to coffee, food, running, or yes even yoga.  The main thing that I am realizing though is we are escaping, fearful, scared, or running from our emotions.  As I was blogging yesterday I feel like these are the emotions that are the key to helping us grow.  So the more we try to escape from these emotions the less we grow.

There are so many people in this world that go to the bars, clubs, or drink all weekend and then wonder why they have not accomplished what they set out to do.  For me this was the beginning of the cloudiness of my mind.  I was frustrated, I was not growing and I felt stuck.  Looking back, 8 years ago I was scared little boy.  After I got rid of the mind numbing substance I still wanted to escape from my emotions.  I was not used to having to face these fears.  I had to learn how to face them straight on.  After facing these fears I would have it no other way.  For me, an individual who has been down this road, alcohol and drugs are two of the biggest hinders in our self growth.

Even without drinking or drugs I have found ways for me to escape.  I still look into my life and there are obviously still some things that I wonder if they hinder or help my growth.  There are some things I do that probably hinder.   Coffee, TV, certain people in my life?  Other escapes I believe help my growth in my life like yoga, painting, or traveling.  Only we know our truth of what is helpful and what hinders us if we look deep down in our hearts.  No matter what our escape is though, at one point we all have to stop and ask ourselves "What are we running from?"

Email or Comment?

Sunday, October 28, 2012

Day 84 - Change your mantra

Hey there, I am still in Denver.  Today Kelly and I went to a hot yoga class at Lohi Athletic Club with Kathleen Swinbourne.  Lohi Athletic Club.  It was a gym atmosphere with a flow class with the heat up a bit.  I am still a big fan of trying out new types of yoga and yoga instructors.  We can learn from each kind and instructor. 

I feel like this vacation has put a nice perspective in my life.  I have had a lot of excitement this weekend with a couple of parties and a lot of friends to visit.  I have been sober for over 8 years now, and these parties are a good time, but can also be somewhat draining for me.  I am structuring more thoughts on this, but will save this topic for another day.  The main idea though is that I feel like the crazy excitement that I had this weekend makes me appreciate the quiet and calm times I am having more and more of.  I love the peace and simplicity in my life, but also love that I can find this peace and simplicity in the crazy and exciting times.

There are so many days in my life that I can look back and say things like...

"I was really confused at that time."
"I was sad and lonely."
"I did not accomplish what I was wanting out to do."

What if my perspective was never like that though.  What if I went through my life doing the exact same thing but instead of the above statements I said...

"I was growing."
"I was building my self awareness."
"I am learning how to build and work on my dreams."

Our failures and "negative" aspects in life are a necessity to build us into what we want to be.  We have the ability to grow and be whoever we want to be.  I believe it all starts with these mantra's though.  Have you ran into the people in life that say "Oh I can never do that." Guess what, 9 out of 10 times they can't.  It's not because they can't though, it's because they won't.  What if they changed the statement to "I would like to try that," or even better "I will try that."  What if they even went so far to saying "I will try that right now?"

I think there are a lot of unnecessary road bumps that we put in our lives because we have been taught to dwell in the world of I can't, I won't, or I never will get there."  The "negative" side of life is something we somehow just become used to and some actually find comfort in it.  It is when we start to make ourselves nervous and even fearful of something new that we start to grow.  The mantra's we stick in our minds like "I can never do that" are probably just a comfort inside of us keeping us from the feelings of fear or nervousness. 

Think back of all the things that have made you into who you are today.  Think of all the things that made you nervous or fearful the first time you did it.  I think it may be time we change our mantra and get out of the stuck world of "I can't."

Email me or leave a comment.

Saturday, October 27, 2012

Day 83 - Water your Grass.

Well I am still in Denver, and I took off today planning on going to yoga tomorrow instead.  I am having a good time hanging out with my friends and getting into snow and colder weather.  It is crazy to think of my home being baked in 80 degree sun while there is snow on the ground here.  It was reminding me that the grass is supposed to always be greener on the other side.

Enjoy your grass, enjoy your snow, and enjoy the things that are in your life.  There are so many good things around you, just stop looking for the solution to your problems.  Solutions are there in your own yard.  There is love in your life, there is happiness in your life, and there is opportunity in your life.  STOP.  Appreciate the happiness, the love that is around you, and never forget you always have opportunity for more in your life.  It is up to you to water your lawn, keep it mowed, and as green as you want it.

Today is a great day to appreciate the love and happiness that I have in my life.  I am going to go play in my green grass and go enjoy my friends tonight.  Go out and tend to your garden.

Back to Yoga tomorrow.

Friday, October 26, 2012

Day 82 - Love to my Friends

Hello from Denver.  It is great to be back with my friends in the great state of Colorado.  It is also great to get a good mix up and change in my yoga life.  Today Kelly and I went to Vital Yoga and took a Vinyasa Flow I - II class with Amanda Lindemann.  Here is their shout out web site Vital Yoga.  The class had a lot of technical sides to it to make sure we got our postures down correctly and properly.  It was a reminder of the little things we need to focus on to keep things from going out of whack and leading to injury.  The one thing I noticed was the dry air and the lack of sweat compared to Florida.  It was a fun time.

My friend Dave talked to me yesterday saying it seems like I have a lot of structure in my life now.  I have the yoga and blogging which I insist be part of my daily life.  I also have this diet that I am playing with.  My life is very disciplined at the moment.  It is what I need.  I was thinking more about how he said that, and how it correlates with what I wrote last Monday.  I think the structure and the discipline is in my life because I am lacking focus on my future life.  I need something in the "now" to focus on so I do not try to do things for the future me.  The structure and discipline is allowing me to be me and not worry who I was or who I will be.

This focus on blogging and yoga is in fact allowing me to live in the now.  I am also not wishing I would eat less meat or drink less coffee.  I "am" eating less meat and drinking less coffee.  I am not talking about doing yoga 6 days a week.  I am doing yoga 6 days a week.  I am in the action of doing rather then planning.  I am not talking about things I want to do, but rather taking action and accomplishing these things.

My friends in Denver help put my life back in perspective.  These are friends I have had since 1995.  They know who I was and who I strive to be, but also love who I am this moment.  I love them the same way.  It is great to see them all grow and accomplish all the things they have in life.  I feel the core group keep life's actions so simple, that when life is thrown into a tail spin or chaos we are there for each other and keep things on the simple plain. We let the chaos pass out of our lives and continue to grow together.  This is the main reason I love my core friends.

Yoga is about growing in both a physical, mental, and spiritual balance.  I am happy to be able to grow with my friends in the same way over these last 17 years.  I have had friends come and go out of my life, I have come and gone out of their lives, but the balance and love keeps us together.

I am excited to be going to this Halloween party out in Denver with these guys.  Halloween is a time to get scared.  Maybe it is time you get scared.  You do not have to go to a haunted house to do this.  Find that fear that is inside of you that you have wanted to do but have been too scared to do it.  Now simply go out and do it. 

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Day 81 - Blooming

I am writing in an airport today.  I am heading to Denver to visit some of my good friends for Halloween.  I am very excited to do this, but also need to make needed adjustments to ensure that yoga remains in my life even while I am out of town.  I have friends who have yoga experience and some who are looking to dive into yoga, so I am doing my research to make sure I fit it into my schedule.  

I scheduled a later flight so I can go to class earlier this morning.  I took a class with Christine Northcotte at Full Circle Yoga.   It was a new time and a new crowd for me, but it was the Flow class I was expecting from Christine.  Fast flowing, twisting, and balancing.  It is a good place to try out some new postures. 

One other thing that I am finding really tough is the Vegan Thursday that I said I wanted to try a couple weeks ago.  Last week I almost put cream in my coffee, and then I found out the pasta I ordered at Cheesecake Factory had butter on it.  There is a lot you do not think about.  Also, today I am traveling which makes eating Vegan difficult.  I packed a lot of snacks with me.

I have been noticing a lot of nature coming back into my life.  I always think that nature has a lot to tell us.  The flowers above for instance.  I looked at this and started to think at a micro and macro level.  I looked at each flower on the tree.  Some were bloomed in pure beauty, shining bright.  Others were trying their hardest to bloom, but not quite there.  Then others were not ever going to bloom, or would be picked off the tree before allowing any growth.  At a macro level I saw the tree blooming and shining as a whole.  Each flower represented a different beauty on the tree and gave it a big yellow glow shining brighter then any of the other trees around it.  It was it’s time to shine, but will have to learn to loose it’s shine and not be the center of attention in my backyard.  I really feel like life lessons can be seen in nature.

While I sit and wait for my plane I remember how much airports used to cause me such anxiety.  Airports never go the way you expect.  Never.  Yet people keep having these high expectations like the flight is supposed to go perfectly, Even if it does go perfectly people still complain.  It is a grueling source of negativity.  “Why is this line so big?”  “Why do we have to take off our shoes?”  “Hurry we are going to be late.”  “I am not going to let them scan me.”  I had a real hard time listening to this.  I get frustrated when others are frustrated.  I found my solution though.  Earphones.  They block out the negative people.  I also feel a lot more patience this flight.  I am contributing this learned patience to yoga.  No matter how much I want to be something else I have to accept who I currently am.  If I want to grow into that something else I need to learn patience to grow.  If I want to grow into the beautiful glowing flowering tree I have to be patient. Thank you yoga J

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Day 80 - Accepting.

I went to Orlando Power Yoga class tonight with Kelly Senn.  If I have not dropped her link yet here is her website.  Orlando Power Yoga.  Kelly's class was a hot flow class which was a much needed class.  I was brain dead after a ton of meetings at work today and needed a break from thinking.

I feel like I had a pretty big breakthrough in the last week.  I feel like I have been searching for answers to some of my life's questions.  Like I am supposed to have some giant breakthrough and life would return to normal. The big breakthrough for me is that there probably is no big breakthrough, my life is already normal.  I do not have to spend my whole life looking for answers, but rather living my life.  The "now" is more about accepting who I am rather then trying to find answers to why I am not who I am.

This is the other side of what I have learned.  I have also not accepted who I am in this moment.  I keep trying to live in the now, but I feel like I am supposed to be doing something else.  At times I try to force my self to live in the now, but this in reality is not living in the now.  Forcing myself to be someone or somewhere else is not living in the now.

Tonight in class I took things a little less seriously.  I did not try to think about what I was thinking (I hope that sentence makes since), or force myself into a deeper stretch, but rather just be happy of where I am right now.  Accept who I am :)

On a side not I love how my dog gets so excited when I first wake up.  He is soooo excited to start his day every single day.  I would love to have his enthusiasm to get up, go outside, play, eat, and walk around exploring.  It is such a simple and basic life.  We complicate so much as humans, but dogs just accept life.  They find joy in the smallest of things.  Maybe we should listen more to our dogs.

I am having a busy week this week, but also very happy and excited.  Hope you are having a lot of fun today.  Send me an email or write a comment.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Day 79 - Gentle day

It is late.  I had a log day working today.  I felt like we accomplished a lot at work today, and was happy with everyone.  I got home and decided to do yoga at home tonight.  I am on a schedule this week to not push myself.  To not force things that are not needed to be forced.  Let my mind just be at ease and not look for thoughts in my head, but rather just notice my thoughts and recognize, accept them,and watch them float on by.

That said I decided to do a new yoga for me tonight.  I know so many different postures. I thought it would be nice to spend 60 minutes just listening to my body and letting it decide where to go.  I treated myself to very gentle and almost yin class.  It felt really good.

After yoga I still needed to write this blog.  I found myself trying to force something out.  I found myself not wanting to write this blog.  I found myself just wanting a break from this blog.  I have written everyday.  I am listening to my mind saying you have to do this, you have to say something inspirational, life changing, something....

So my big inspirational lesson for the day is relax, be gentle, and do not force things.   Easy.  Have a good night.

Monday, October 22, 2012

Day 78 - Focus

Happy Meatless Monday!

This is my dog.  I figured I should introduce him since he does the best downward dog posture I have ever seen.  My dog is the most loyal and reliable thing on earth.  When I get home he will be the first one at the door wagging his tail with such an excitement and love for me.  He is who I can count on if I need love in my life, as it is unconditional.  He will always show this love as long as I continue to do simple things like walk him, feed him, and throw the tennis ball as many times as I can.  We have a relationship unlike anything else I have experienced in life.

I was up until 3 am last night.  I finally had a chance to get the rest of my house together and settle down a bit.  I also looked into my financial budget which seemed to stir up some emotions.  I used to have a dream that I was very much focuses on.  Find a girlfriend, find a wife, get married, create a family.  I always had a focus.  I was going to college, finding a job, and making money all to ultimately finance my future family.  When I went through my divorce I hit a limbo land which took away my focus for the future.  My thoughts shifted to what went wrong and how can I prevent this from happening again.  It has been about 1 year and as I continue to grow from my divorce I still do not have that same family future bound focus.  My divorce was in fact a device that has turned a switch inside me guiding me towards bettering myself as a human being.

My focus over the last year has been forced to focus on myself.  As I wrote earlier last week I am not looking to fill my voids with someone else and hoping they can balance out my life.  Rather, I am trying to find balance so I can live my life equally with someone.  This process is healthy and new, but also feels very strange.  It is going to take some more time to get used to.

I have noticed a few times that these frustrations creep up on Sunday's when I am by myself where I typically settle down, clean house, and then start my planning.  The thing is though other then my travels everything else is pretty much planned for the year.  So I start to get ahead of myself.  I begin to plan further into the future.  Do I want to marry again?  Do I want to have children?  Where do I want to live?  Should I go live in a hut in Africa?  These are all questions I tend to drive myself nuts with.  I am lacking a focus.  A focus that I am used to.  The focus has switched to me which is new.  My new focus is me.  Honestly, it is really hard for me to focus on me, so I start looking for a new outlet.  This is why yoga308 has been so great for me.  I spend at least 60 minutes a day trying to focus on me, and then I get to blog about it.  It is a great way to keep honest and true to myself.  It is where I am gaining my balance.

I will be going to Steve Rubin's Ashtanga class tonight at Full Circle.  I have a plan this week to try to not force my thoughts.  I feel like I have been trying to force myself to feel, rather then looking to see how I feel.  I try to sit and clear my thoughts rather then letting them be.  I want to just be in the moment rather then trying to figure out where I am supposed to go, or why I am where I am.  I am working on accepting today and knowing that today will soon become tomorrow no matter what I do.

-Keep it simple.

Sunday, October 21, 2012

Day 77 - BAL-----A-----NCE

As I wake up in my hotel this morning I have the opportunity to reflect over the last week.  One common thought continued to enter my head throughout this week.  Balance.  When I am on the mat I have the ability to twist into a pretzel and balance on one leg.  I can also kick up into a nice headstand.  We all have those days though that we fall, and we all have new balances to face and learn.  There are several types of headstands, there is handstand, and then there are forearm balances.  The future has an infinite number of postures to learn new things and ideas.  How do we find balance?

I am focusing on balance in my life.  I am finding it is best to try to apply it to everything.  With my diet this week I had Meatless Monday, no coffee Tuesday, lots of fruit Wednesday, and vegan Thursday.  Friday, Saturday, and Sunday I did not have any rules.  This week gave me awareness of things I was putting into my body, but also gave my body a slight break from the every day routine.  I had to search for new foods to put into my body.  I am a believer that if I continue to put the same thing in my body everyday that it eventually becomes harmful.

Outside of diet and yoga there is still a lot of balance to be found.  There are 24 hours in our day.  How do I balance these hours. Lately for me it is filled with sleep, work, yoga, art, and eating.  All of us find our time shifting to one avenue or another.  We look for a balance in our daily routine.  So if I woke up at 8:00 am and worked from 9:00 am - 5 pm, then I come home walk the dog,  do yoga at 6 pm, come home cook dinner, relax for a bit and then go to bed.  This is a perfect balance (I can stay in headstand with complete stability).  To me though this is where we stop growing.

We start to grow when we try something out of our stable life.  When we add something new or drop something old from the program.  This is when we start to feel unstable and search for our balance. Only you know when you feel stable in the headstand.  Only you know when it is time to try the handstand.   The people around you will help in gaining this balance.   Are you trying to keep your balance or are you trying to keep or control the balance of others?   Surround yourself around people who are trying to gain their own balance and also encouraging you and there for you when you loose your balance and fall down.

I am keeping my balance in check.  I do not expect a simple life.  I expect both chaos and simplicity in my life.  It's how I balance these two out that will keep my life at peace.  Keeping the balance between the yin and the yang, the sad with the happy, the crazy with the simple, the work with the relaxation, the giving with the receiving.  It is a constant struggle with keeping this balance.

Find your balance and you will attract and find balanced people.  If you are unbalanced you will attract and find the opposite unbalanced.  If you always give, you will find the person who will always receive.  If you are always working, you will search for the person who is always relaxing.  If you are always sad you will search for the person who is always happy.  This is an unfulfilled balance.  You are the one who is always giving, working, or sad.  Other people cannot fill this void, you have to find a way to fill this void.  You need to find your balance.

I am finding more and more how much balance in yoga is important in my life.  This is where I learn how to breathe, stay in control, and ultimately find peace when life is unstable.  I have the option to go into a balance that I know I am stable in.  I can go into a new challenging balance where I can start to learn how to turn my chaotic unstable feelings into something I can control and feel stable again.  Learn to grow.

Send me an email or leave a comment.

Saturday, October 20, 2012

Day 76 - Relax in the Chaos

This weekend I am staying at a hotel for a  business meeting.  I am going to be doing a lot of traveling coming up, but I am still am going to find room for yoga.  This morning I was able to find a yoga class pool side.  The class was what I will now refer to as resort yoga.  It is a class where the hotel really wants to offer something to their guests. They do not have a good crowd and have to change the class to meet the crowd.  Basically, it is an intro to yoga class.  I was expecting this, but wanted readers to know to please do not think you are going to a true yoga class next to a pool in a resort :)  There is still a lot to learn though.

This morning gave me a good opportunity to keep humble.  I know I have a lot of knowledge in the yoga arena, but I do not have to go around showing off or telling the world what I have learned.  I could have gone to this pool and do my pretzel twists and show off, but I went into the class with the hopes to learn something new.

My mission in life is not to force the world to follow my ways.  I have ran into pushy and controlling people in my past.  I am on a mission to learn as much as I can out of this world.  My mission is to not close my mind and think I have learned all there is to learn.  I will not expect the world to behave like me.  I will continue to learn, grow, and be in the world.  There is a lesson in every event of our lives. 

This said I had a real good class.  The teacher was really nice.  She was very excited to have me in her class, and I learned some excellent breathing techniques with her.  It was a lot of fun to do a headstand next to a pool.  It was also a great day to find a gentleness to my body.  It was as if my body was smiling because I was not pushing it to it's max.  When I lied down in savasana there was a nice breeze flowing through.  It was a really relaxing class.

In this moment of relaxation I am thinking how life is full of chaos.  It is an inevitable part of life. How do you handle chaos?  Who is really in charge of this chaos?  Is the chaos all around you or is it all actually in your head?  I have a nice stability inside of me.  I see people who fall into chaos and I have tried to get them out of this chaos.  I have gone as far as loose my own peace and dive into their chaos in order to try to drag them out.  I no longer will do this.  Some people mix chaos with peace.  Some people think they have found peace, but they are still in chaos.  Some people only find peace in chaos.  Some people only look for chaos.  Some people try to control the world and cause more chaos.  The important part is to separate yourself from others chaos.  It is not your chaos to be in.

Find the people who are not trying to drag you into their chaos.  The people who do not think that you are responsible for their happiness.  The ones who love you for who you are, not what you can give them.  Find the people who have a good balance on receiving and giving.  Find the simple things in life.  Surround yourself with this environment and learn to grow with the world.  Peace will then come to your soul and when chaos comes you can keep a true balance, breather and understand that it is just a part of the world.

My life will continue to stay in a simple world.  Chaos will be in my life, but chaos will not control my life.  It will not stay in my life. 

I want to take the opportunity today to thank everyone from my present and my past.  I have learned so much from everyone.  Keep it simple.

Friday, October 19, 2012

Day 75 - The Slide Show

So this peacock has nothing to do with this post, but when three peacocks show up in your front yard they deserve to be shown on a blog :)

Today was the Yin class with Steve Rubin at Orlando Power Yoga.  I have several things that have been on my mind that I would love to talk about, and it is hard to choose, but this kind of goes with how I am feeling today. 

In class I noticed something.  I am trying to live in "the now." Yin is a very relaxing class where you can concentrate on just being in the moment.  My mind has been all over the place this week.  It has been hard for me to live in the moment.  During class I was concentrating on my breath.  Breathe in, breathe out.  This is where I was looking to find my peace, but it wasn't working.

 I decided to try a different approach.  I decided to focus on where I was in the posture.  I would say in my mind "My right arm is on the ground."  I figured that this was a good approach.  It is where my body was in the moment.  Where I was in "the now."  Just like that though, my mind drifted into the past.  I had a quick vision of when I was in Madagascar.  This was a great night in my life, but just like that the vision switched to the next happy vision.  I then started to try to get my mind back into "the now"  Where is my body, where is my breath.  I started to get frustrated.  My frustrated mind then started to think of how this topic would make a good blog.  AGHHHH!!!!!

I started to think about this and talked later to Marianne about this subject (Thanks Marianne!)  Yoga releases emotions.  I have been in classes where I finished sad, relaxed, happy, angry.  There have been a lot of studies that the body can hold onto emotions, but what about memories?  The whole time I was trying to find "the now," but "the now" for me was unlocking these past memories.  Remembering these moments in life were also unleashing emotions.  Maybe emotions are tied to my past memories.  Maybe I am holding onto these happy moments because I locked these happy moments inside my body.

I was a ignoring where I am.  I was ignoring my mind going to the past, and trying to force my mind to focus on something else.  I always thought that my mind was supposed to go blank in yoga.  I am not sure why this is what I thought a mind should be.  My mind is filled with visual thoughts.  I am a very visual person.  It makes sense that I have billions of images locked in my brain and body that will unleash during yoga.

I am going to pay more attention of what type of memories unleash during certain postures.  Certain postures must unleash certain emotions as well as certain types of memories.  I am pretty fascinated with this concept.

Send me an email or leave a comment.

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Day 74 - Structure

Happy Vegan Day (I almost put cream in my coffee...oops)

My dad got my mom to go to her first yoga class together.  I guess they both enjoyed it.  I hope that they both continue to go.  YEAH PARENTS!!!!

I was at Kelly Senn's Dharma class again at Orlando Power Yoga.  Again, this is slowly becoming one of my more favorite yoga's.  Like Ashtanga it has the same series that it flows through every time.  I began to wonder why it was that I like these types of yoga.  Why I am I so attached to this?  For a long while I would refuse to do anything but Ashtanga.

To me Dharma and Ashtanga are classes I know what to expect when I enter the class.  If I am pushing myself at the beginning I know I can take a break and then start up again later.  I know what is to come.  There is a lot of structure in this class, a lot of history, and a lot of tradition.  It feels like this is where my body belongs.  But why?

I look at my life as a pretty unstructured life.  I technically do not have to be anywhere at anytime.  Every morning I wake up I can make the choice to go to work, go to yoga, go on a run, do nothing, eat, play, drink coffee, eat chicken, what ever.  I am a rare being that actually has that ability to do that.  Keep in mind I have the same 24 hours in a day as everyone else.  So I make my own structure, I form my own patterns, I provide my own organization.  When I am in charge of the day it means the day is not in charge of me.  The day however will throw me curve balls, sliders, fastballs, whatever it chooses.  As I continue on with my day the world will never have the same stability as I like to pretend the world should be.  I can go into work and have the power go out shutting down my whole operation.  I could be cut off by a train which makes me late for an appointment which dominoes into something else.  Although I may plan my day one way, it never will come out as originally planned.  There is not real structure in life.

For 90 minutes when I get on the mat at an Ashtanga or Dharma class I can rely on structure.  I can have that knowledge that this is how it is going to be from the time I get on the mat until I get off.  It is something I know is going to happen.  Yes, I know for all you knit pickers, there are some things that vary during class.

At the same time during class, I learn how to deal with these little things that can distract me from this structure.  A thought may come up that makes me angry.  Where do I put this?  What do I do with it?  How do I handle this?  Breath and let it go.  The breath keeps you in this structure.

I hear so many people talking to a hysterical person.  What do they say?  "Breath and calm down."   And when that hysterical person starts to do this they stop, get grounded, and can start to begin to be human again.  The breath brings them back to the beginning.  It allows you to stop and begin again to look for that peace, calmness, or structure. 

In these Dharma and Ashtanga classes I can breathe.  I can stop and focus on my life, my feelings, my emotions, nothing.  I can just be.  I know what is coming up.

On the flip side I also like to switch it up.  I like to go to classes where I do not know what to expect.   A good flow class keeps you on your toes.  I do not know what is around the corner.  It is a chance to  challenge my body and mind to see if I can keep up, figure out my breath, and many other lessons when facing chaos or no structure in life.  After all life is about balance.  We cannot just have structure.  How boring would that be?  Then again, maybe that is what true peace is.  Knowing exactly what to expect when you wake up and the world behaves exactly as planned?  hmmmmm

Keep sending those emails, but you can also comment.  I know blogger seems to have a pain in the ass way to leave a comment.  Sorry that is not my fault.

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Day 73 - Justify

Happy Lots of Fruit day (If you don't know what this is read Sunday's blog)

Tonight I am going to a yin yang class with Rob Hefele at Full Circle Yoga.  It is a pretty gentle class mixed in with a little flow at the beginning.  It is a great for midway through your week. 

I have heard a lot of people justifying not doing things.  I am also guilty of this, but I am noticing it a lot more since doing Yoga 308.  Things like I can eat a cheeseburger because I have been eating good this whole week.  Everyone has certain justifications to get them out of doing things.  I am starting to wonder if these justifications are in fact just our fears.  

I am finding my life to be much more exciting and fun while I am facing my fears and insecurities.  We all have them, but we all can choose either to run from them, face them, or justify not doing them.  We will always face fears in our life.

I am tired of justifications in my life.  I am going to try to notice when I do it, and make a point to tell you that I am doing it.  Life can be as simple as just doing something. 

Yoga is a perfect example where justifications are done.  I do justify things every day in yoga.  "Well I have been pushing myself so hard the first half hour I should take it easy the next half hour."  "I did three back bends, I do not need to do the fourth."  Now here's where it gets tricky.  Flip it.  "I have been laying in child's pose, I should start getting into the posture again."  "I did one back bend, I should do three now."  I have a hard time justifying being gentle with myself.  So it can go both ways.

I am writing about this topic today because I have so many people who come up to me and justify not doing something.  Things like...

"I think it's great you drink.  I drink because I just need to unwind during the weekend."
"I do not run anymore, because I have too much to do."
"I cannot start my company because I do not know how to start it up"
"I need to have protein so I need to eat this beef tonight"

There are a thousand justifications on not doing things that we know may better for our life.  We are all guilty of doing them.  Is it time that we just let go of these justifications and do the things we keep saying we want to do?  Is today the day? 

I am trying something new this week.  I am waking up with a positive mantra.  I think of something that I hope to accomplish, followed by something that I truly love, and finally that the day is good.  It is a great way to start off and then continue my day.  The other choice is to wake up pissed off and angry and trying to overcome that.  You have the choice every morning to start off your morning in a positive direction.  You can then face the negativity in life with a step ahead.  Try it out.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Day 72 - The story

Happy no coffee day.

Tonight I went to Christine Northcote's Flow Class at Full Circle Yoga.  Tonight I felt like I was in a good state.  I feel pretty level both physically and emotionally.  My muscles feel in good shape except for a tight feeling in my right hamstring.  I also feel my emotions coming and going.  I am feeling pretty healthy overall.

During class today I was having a lot of flash backs from my past.  I mean A LOT.  All good time.  Times of when I was at an outdoor bar with my friend Scott in Africa, flashing to my first time I saw my dog, or when I was at a festival in Japan.  I have lived a great life.  I have a lot to show for it, and a lot of stories to tell.

About 10 years ago I remember talking to my friend about "The story".  He and I both have what many would say accomplished a lot in life.  We have ran a successful business, ran marathons, climbed 6 highest peaks in 6 different states in 48 hours, ran adventure races, traveled the world, and a lot more.  Why do we do this?  My big concern at the time was that I was doing all these things so I could tell everyone how I accomplished these things, but after awhile I found this was not the reason.  I have run into people like this.  Where their life is just a story.  It gives them reasons to feel inferior over other people.  I worry of becoming this person.

I want to experience life I want to live my life to the fulliest.  I want to continue to challenge my body, mind, and spirit.  I want to sit back one day and say I did everything I wanted to try in the this world.  Luckily I am very excited for life and there is way too much for me to experience in this life that I will never be able to do all that I want to do.  To me I have a story that is continuing to build, change, grow, learn, and find new avenues.   I am really glad that I do not have an ending to my story yet.

I think now that I am blogging and telling my story that this fear is coming up again.  That people are going to think that I am telling a story to make me sound inferior to others.  This is a fear I have battled with before, and I know that I will over come this through these blogs.  I am here to document my story.  The more I write the more I will realize that this is just my fear, and that people are not thinking this.  This is not my personality.

We have a lot to overcome in our life time.  The first step is to admit these fears, mistakes, insecurities, etc.  Bring your fears to the table.

Monday, October 15, 2012

Day 71 - Give and do not take or forget who you are.

Happy Meatless Monday!!!  Tonight I went again to Ashtanga yoga with Steve Rubin at Full Circle Yoga.  Still one of my favorites.

Yoga gives me a chance to sit back and look who I am.  I am a strong promoter of looking at who you are and how you interact with the rest of the world.  Talking to other professionals like a life coach or therapist is also a recommended avenue.  We as humans are an ever growing entity.  So ask yourself are your continuing your growth?  What is stopping you from your growth?

I have had a lot of stumbles along my road.  One thing that I have learned from my past is I can easily get mixed into others lives.  I am a fixer upper.  I like to take on projects with other people.  If you have a problem I have a solution.  I can give advise to anyone, but I can also get lost.  I can put my heart and soul into making other's happy.  In the past I have put my growing process aside so others can be happy.  The stunning of your growth with inevitably take away your inner peace.  There is a fine line on this subject, and I have crossed over way to the other side.  I was not happy unless I knew that others were happy.  It was a way to avoid looking at who I am.   I could spend all my time looking at others problems then I had no time to look into or admit my own.

The other side is a selfish soul sucker.  One who takes away the growth of others in order to try to secure their happiness.  I have seen people put on a great show in order to hide who they really are.  There are some out there that know how to manipulate people by putting on this show so they can try to feel in control and feel like they are given true happiness.  In reality this person sits at night sad and alone in their head wondering why they are not happy.  They can avoid looking at themselves by blaming others for not bringing them happiness.

Neither of these ways work, but these two combinations are magnet personalities towards each other.  I have given myself away enough to soul suckers.  I can now recognize the soul sucker personality.  I can look from the outside and feel sorry for these souls.

I can see both of these personalities in my yoga classes.  I am happy to say that now I have surrounded myself with happy people that seem to be fighting over helping each other.  I can see the soul suckers.  They stick out a lot more now.  I am recognizing my growth.   I give thanks to yoga and therapy.

If you are not taking the time you deserve for yourself now is the time to try to figure out how to find that time.  Are you spending your entire life giving into soul suckers?  Do you think you are giving to others, but in reality you are just sucking souls from others?  Look deep inside yourself.  Ask for others advise.  Stop giving your advise to others if they are not asking.   Leave a comment or email me on this one.  I can't wait to hear what people say.

Sunday, October 14, 2012

Day 70 - Ahhh Reflection

Well it is my day off.  I have been at this for 10 weeks now.  WOW!!!!  I realized that the number in my titles are off.  This is my 70th day including every day I blog.  So it also includes my day's off.  So I will have a total of 365 days to go through (which is not my original 308 yoga number).  Oh well.  You guys will just have to be ok with it :)

Looking back over this week I seem to be having a lot of talk on both fear and balance.  It seems like some days my yoga will reflect my blogs, while other days my blogs will reflect my yoga.  There are some things in life that I have interest in, but for some reason I have not done them.  If fear is the only reason, then that is no longer an excuse for me anymore.

Balance has also been pretty big for me.  A lot of you have been asking about my diet.  If you remember I gave up coffee one week, Powerade another, and also did a 3 day cleanse.  These were all really good.  My diet has been ok over the last couple weeks.  The most important realization is I have been a lot more aware of what is going into my body.  I drank coffee 6 out of 7 days this week, but only 1 to 2 cups.  I also switched from sugar to Agave this week.  I am still eating pizza and other "bad for you" food.

I am on a balance kick this week, so why not keep it in my diet.  If I decide I want a burger then I also want to make sure I have a day that is much more healthy.  If life is balanced in all other avenues.  Happy and sad, Angry and peaceful, then why not diet?  I am going to make a couple goals this week.  I have been dating Marianne who is a Vegan.  She is inspiring to me for her reasoning on why she does it.  I love meat and seafood, and will probably not change, but also do believe in a lot of Vegan concepts.  I just do not think I have the discipline to give it up completely.  I can however become more aware of it, and not be dependent on animals every day on it.  This week I want to try to have a few different days to help "balance" in my week.  I am going to try the following.

-  Monday = Meatless Monday - So no meat or chicken.
-  Tuesday = No Coffee
- Wednesday = Full of fruit.  I just want to eat a lot of fruit this day
- Thursday = Vegan day - I just want to try it.
- Friday - Sunday = I will be in a business meeting so I am not going to be doing anything diet wise.

I am finding that if I plan my week out like this it helps me keep balanced or determined to meet these goals.  I will let you know how it goes.  It is late.  I am excited to get into some good Yoga this week!!!!!

Saturday, October 13, 2012

Day 68 - Fear

Last night we Orlando yogi's took Universal Halloween Horror nights by storm.  It was a fun filled night with lots of scares and laughs.  I am not sure exactly why getting scared became a fun thing, but I also think it is a necessary thing to learn and be comfortable with.  I loved getting scared last night.  When we face our fears we are able to tackle on new experiences.  We need fear to help us grow.  We probably grow most when we push ourselves to the limit of our fears.

Maybe you have never done a handstand.  Maybe you have been doing handstand for years.  At one point you were like me.  When I try to jump up into handstand I have a giant fear that I am going to flip my legs over frontwards and land on the person in front of me.  This fear causes me to not bring my legs always up in order to ease this fear. 

At one point of my practice I had the same fear in headstand. I remember feeling that when I crashed it was hard and loud.  I never had a graceful fall forward.  I continued to fear the headstand until one day...I just did it.  There was no magic secret on how it was done.  I just came every day, practiced, and practice, and eventually found that I was no longer fearing the headstand.  I just was doing it.

I do notice that after my headstand felt comfortable, I seemed to shift my fear to the handstand.  I wonder if we have a set amount of fear in our lives and we just shift it from one thing to the next?  Or do we minimize our fears and hope to grow towards a life with no fear.

What else in life am I currently letting my fear win?  Maybe it's time we look into our fears and face them.  Would life be better without fear?  Or would we just become lazy, because we have nothing to fear?

Does it make sense to say "Not to fear, fear?"  Can we just accept that we fear some parts of life?  If we see these fears, do you think it is important to face them?  What is your fear today?

It is late tonight, and I am tired.  I did go to Yin class with Steve Rubin at Orlando Power Yoga.  Now I must go to bed,  Sorry if this see,s a bit short tonight, but I do not "fear" what you guys are going to say.  Good night.

Day 69 - Balance Work Shop

I was at a balance work shop today with Kelly Senn at Orlando Power Yoga.  It was a 2 hour workshop that was more of a stop and discuss the balance postures.  When you stop and concentrate on one posture it gives you a good chance to check to make sure you are doing it right.  I was pretty excited on how far I have come, and excited on where I was going.

Yesterday I talked about how I used to fear going up in headstand, and how that fear has shifted to handstand.  Today I started to feel comfortable trying to get up in handstand.  Next is the forearm balance.  The initial fear seems to be less and less though.  Yoga is a never ending practice.  You can keep pushing yourself and "conquering" other postures, but there is always a new posture past that.  There is always the next step.  It is actually a great life lesson.  I am going to continue to grow and look into new and exciting avenues to grow.  There is never a place in life where I will say I am done.  Keep looking for people to learn from and places where I can grow.  Do not fear new things in life or changes, but embrace them.  Fear may be the essence of growing.

One thing I was thinking about while in the class today was how I have been to a lot of classes, workshops, and different yoga disciplines in my life.  Each yoga teacher has their own way of doing yoga.  They have learned a lot of things throughout their lives and now are regurgitating what they have learned, and teaching you what they think is beneficial for your life.  One yoga instructor may tell you the opposite of what another yoga instructor tells you.  My advice is to keep an open mind.  If you are in love with your yoga or yoga instructor and you go to a new studio or instructor keep an open mind.  If the new instructor tells you something you do not agree with just don't do it.  I am learning there is not much in the right or way to get into a posture, but rather different approaches.  If you are finding discomfort, do not do it.   Instructors are guides they are not the ultimate answer. None of this was happening today at the workshop.  The thoughts were just going through my mind.

I have learned a lot so far through Yoga 308.  I have been trying to do a lot with what I learn on the mat and trying to take it off the mat.  Yoga has helped me appretiate life and look at the simple things in life that help pursue and get the best out of life.  I am learning how to balance in so many aspects like emotions, time, diet, exercise, and work.  Living in the "Now" by accepting where I am, no matter what I have to do or where I have been.  Patience by allowing things to happen and understanding things don't always surface after one day.    There are lot of things that have come up, and I am loving that. 

Time for a day off.  Give me some feedback.  Are you guys enjoying reading these blogs?

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Day 67 - Blank Canvas

Today I went back to the Thursday Dharma class with Kelly Senn at Orlando Power Yoga.  Again, this is becoming one of my favorite classes.  She did say starting November it will be available twice a week.  Not many emotions were flowing through me today.  I am still busy and excited about things, but in more of a melancholy mood.

Today I wanted to talk about the piece of art work above.  I came across this at the art museum in San Francisco.  The above piece was done by Robert Ryman.  He is 82 years old and this is what he paints.  I looked at it as nothing, or as a blank canvas. This is art?  He has been paitning these squares since the 1950's.  A week later I was in the art museum in Seattle.  Guess what I found?  Another blank canvas by Robert Ryman.  I didn't understand it.  So I began to try to understand it.  I found him on the internet and on a PBS program. 

My art is filled with what I am calling non patient work.  I like to take at most 1 hour on a painting.  This is the time period where I produce, in my head, the best works of art.  I started to think about the reasoning behind this.  This is often how our brains work.  We want instant gratification.  We want to just be the best at something, express ourselves, and be given the attention we deserve.  We want this instantly though, we do not want to work at it.  I have found a small niche in my life where I can get this instant gratification, and that is through my art work.  However, I do not believe that true peace is found in instant gratification. 

True peace is not instant.  We have o find a way to work at it.  We have so much to overcome.  Either are past builds up and creates barriers or we spend too much time worried about the future and what the world has in store for us.  We ignore the now and stay in this worry mode.  How do we overcome these worry's that have been installed in our brains?  Practice, stillness, patience.  The instant gratification only lasts for a bit and then it is gone. To find true peace we need to work at it, and be patient trying to find it.

Today I was thinking of Robert Ryman's work.  He seems to take a blank canvas and once again makes it into another new and blank canvas.  Outside of art work, isn't this a great concept.  What if we woke up every morning with a blank canvas?  What if we had no worries from the past, and no responsibilites tied to the future.  What if today was a fresh new start?  What if we looked at this piece of blank canvas worked all day on it and the next day we woke up to a new fresh blank canvas?  What if it wasn't every day, but every hour, minute, or even second?  Is this possible?  Can our society allow this to be this way?  Can we allow this to be this way?

My life's canvas is pretty colorful, brilliant, and exciting.  There is just a small sliver from my past that I would like to erase or take out of the canvas, but maybe this sliver is what is needed to make it a true work of art.  Maybe it is what makes my unique piece unique.  It is what I need to grow and make my next more brilliant blank canvas.  Maybe your life is full of these slivers.  Rather then trying to remove these slivers from your canvas, accept them, and mold them into your new fresh new canvas.  If you want to splatter color and joy onto it, do it.  The slivers will still be there, but with a new look.  Maybe your blank canvas is not blank at all.  What do you think?

Look outside the box.  The things like Robert Ryman's painting may be the life lesson that you need today.  Oh, I still do not think it is art, but I appreciate the understanding it brought to my life today.

Yoga is a great place to bring to the table a fresh new canvas.  Clear your mind.  Let the emotions, feelings, and things around you go.  Try to live in the now and create a fresh new life.

On a side note.  Today I have been thinking a lot of being back at the Costa Rica Yoga retreat at Anamaya.  When I was there, my days were each a blank canvas.  Marianne made this video, and it helps give a glimpse of how special this place was.  Most of us did not know each other, but we all left great friends.  Enjoy.

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Day 66 - Catholic Priest Bans Yoga

Tonight I was off to a Power yoga class with Kelly Senn.  It was a class where Dharma meets Budokon.  I really enjoyed it.  It was a very slow moving strength building class with a lot of the postures from both Dharma and Budokon.  I really felt like going to a Yin class tonight, but ended up in this class.  I was a good change in plans.

Tonight I feel in a very comfortable stage.  I was really smiley after class, and I feel an overall balance of just being.  I feel a lot stronger lately.

It was also a very busy day at work today, but I felt very excited and energetic.  Like we were starting on a clean slate today.  I feel fresh (not like a feminine product commercial) like I am a new person.  Kind of strange, but what ever I am going with it.

I read in the Yoga Journal an article today about how a Catholic Priest Banned yoga.  My immediate thought was..."Why do they do that? so stupid."  I have come to a different understanding after class though.  The Priest banned the yoga class because he did not want to practice something that is practiced by Hindu's.  I guess I am at a point of my life when I hear some of these thoughts, and just kind of say "oh who cares."  People are always going to think differently from me.  I could try to explain to the catholic's and priests that believe this, but I am pretty sure they have made up their mind on this subject, like I have made up my mind in practicing yoga.  It is not my job to tell people how to practice and find their god and religion, but continue on practicing the life, religion, and beliefs I hold true to my heart.

Everyone who takes yoga probably knows and believes that any religion can and participates in it.  Atheists, Catholics, Buddhist, Hindus.  That is part of why I enjoy it.  We are all coming from  different avenues in life.  I was brought up Catholic.  I stopped going to church about 20 years ago, and now consider myself Buddhist.  I hardly ever think about god or religion in class.  I use it as an opportunity to sit still to be with myself and look deeper inside of me.  At the same time I am getting a great work out.  And everyone around may or may not have the same religious beliefs.  Then there is a great community.  Like church, people are coming together to do the same thing, but they all bring their own beliefs to the table.  We do not sit and debate who's god is better, or anything like that.  In my mind  it is actually a really great practice that could benefit and enhance all religions.  I really am enjoying the yoga community.

I know that most people that come to yoga, believe that we have a great community, We just wish that people would keep their mind open to new beliefs.  Do not look at yoga as a religious practice, but rather a spiritual practice.

However, just like we ask people to be open minded, the people who ban yoga are asking people to close their minds.  In order to keep an open mind about our world we must accept that life will always have a closed minded way to believe.

So stay open minded by allowing the closed minded people to stay closed.  It is part of our balance in life.  Send me an email or leave a comment.

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Day 65 - Dirt

Yes, this is a picture of dirt.  I planted seeds yesterday for vegetables and herbs.  I was thinking yesterday while I planted these on how I can be so patient when I plant these seeds.  I nurture them, water them, and take care of them.  In return they give me great tasting veges and strong smelling herbs.  There has been times that I plant these seeds and nothing grows.  There has been times when I spent the whole season taking care of these plants and they are all killed by a frost.

I look at my niece who sees a lemon just starting to grow on a lemon tree.  She looks at it and you can tell she is holding back from picking yet another one.  She has yet to develop this patience to let things grow from a seed into something that fruits.  We learn this.  Some people never pick up these traits to keep up with nurturing a seed into a plant. 

Last week I felt like this pile of dirt.  I felt a lot of symbolism planting these seeds yesterday.  I was at a new cross roads of my life making another transition, but I feel like the choices I have made are helping me grow.  This week I feel like the seed.  I feel like I am surrounded by warm dirt, I have water all around me, and I am ready to soak it up.  I am ready to grow in this new space into something bigger, something better, something that produces something useful for others.

Today I went to Orlando Power Yoga for a class with Beth Stone.  I went into the class holding tight to this idea that I was a seed.  I was ready to grow.  Beth's class was tough and hot.  I was still in a great mood and ready to conquer the world.  Ready to GROW.  So I pushed myself like I did last night.  I ran out of steam about 45 minutes into it, and felt completely drained.  I felt like a seed which was trying to spout way too soon.  I was pushing myself too hard.  Have you ever seen a seed grow into a giant fruiting plant over night?  For the first time ever I laid in corpse pose early.  I had definitely pushed myself to the limit.

Just laying there while others are in yoga poses, can be overwhelming.  Your mind can go in a lot of directions.  "Do they think I am weak for laying here?"  "Should I at least try this next posture or move into child's pose?"  These thoughts did cross my mind, but the main thought that stayed there was.  I pushed myself too hard I can be patient, gentle, and allow myself to grow.  I was a seed soaked in sweat holding moisture in, and just accepting today as today.  I will try to grow more tomorrow.

Yoga is such a great place to find patience.  You can work our entire life and never get to the place where you "want to be".

I want to leave you with a quote from an Orlando yoga legend Lewis Rothlein.  He now lives in Asheville, NC where I took one of his classes earlier this year.  It is his birthday and I have had two teacher read this quote in class.

"May your heart always be filled with peace and happiness.  May it always be growing in compassion, in gratitude, in forgiveness, in humility, and especially in loving!  Let that love pour out of your heart like sunbeams...toward everyone.  Don't leave a single person out.  YOU CAN DO THIS.  You will serve the world and you will feel better then you've ever felt in your life.  Namaste - Lewis Rothlein. 

Monday, October 8, 2012

Day 64 - Yoga high!!!

I went back to my home base today.  I did not realize it, but it has been about 3 weeks since I last went to an Ashtanga class.  Tonight I was back with Steve Rubin at Full Circle Yoga.  It made me feel as if I was born again.  I woke up this morning in my new home, and had a fresh outlook at things.  I felt really good.  I was still getting over my cold, but I am amazed on how quickly I overcame this cold.  Typically a sinus cold like this will knock me out for about 2 weeks, but this time I feel like I beat it.

Tonight in my class I felt like I went deeper then I have ever been in my postures.  I felt a little weak at times, but pushed through it and went deeper.  I am not sure what it was tonight, but it made me feel really good.  I looked back of the growth I have accomplished over the last year.  I am really proud of what I am growing into.

I am pretty excited also that I took these yoga posture pictures when I did.  They were never meant to be something to show how deep I can go, but rather where I was at the beginning of all of this.  I can now look back 10 months from now and compare pictures.

So something today boosted my excitement level.  I am excited for yoga, I am excited for work, I am excited for another year in Orlando, I am excited for life.  Was it the fact that I was in the dumps last week.  Was it the fact that I was sick.  Was it the fact that I just moved into a new house.  I think it was just a part of life.  It was where I was last week, and it makes where I am now that much better.  I found the now again today and in yoga tonight.

I am in such a high tonight I really do not feel like blogging tonight.  So I am going to enjoy the now, and get back to you tomorrow on how everything went.  In fact I am not even going to reread this and just put this out as is.  Go enjoy the rest of your day people!!!!

Sunday, October 7, 2012

Day 63 - The move

I am grateful for all the people that helped me out today.  Marianne, Ryan, Luke (plus his friend from Atlanta), and Darren all helped me make the move from my apartment into my new house.  I am still under the weather so all of this attention was a little overwhelming. I am happy that I had so much support to make this happen so easily.

I am happy to have to day off as I am now stuffed up and beginning to cough.  I am having the debate on whether to try to push myself and do more yoga tomorrow or take the day off.  I am in a position where I have made a dedication for myself, but my body is telling me to stop pushing myself.  I will wait until tomorrow to see what happens.

Time for a little weekly reflecting.  Yoga is very much a way to dive deeper into your soul, body, and mental state.  I often wonder if my life had been different if I did not dive deeper into life.  What if I never did the drugs that I know have enhanced yet hindered my mind.  What if I never traveled anywhere outside my home town.  What if I never meditated, discovered other religions, philosophies, or ideas?  Is it even possible to live in a box anymore?

I feel like the more I do, the more I discover, and the less time I have to do anything.  I see myself getting frustrated beacause of all the wonderful things in this world.  It is hard for me to focus.  It is a difficult thing for me to just concentrate on one thing.  I am not sure exactly where this came from, but I am learning more about myself each day.  I think this is why I love yoga so much.  It gives me at least the opportunity to stop and try to live in the "now."

This week I felt like I failed in trying to live in the "now"  Overall though I gave 90 minutes a day trying to make this happen.  I am practicing living in the "now"  I cannot always live in the "now".  The important part for me is the practice of living there.  Another angle to look at it is to say that as my hips and hamstrings become more flexible so does my mind.  I am finding peace, stability, and love.  I cannot be unrealistic saying that I found peace and then I am going to stay there.  This is not where my mind is right now. 

If we are open minded in life do you think that we complicate our lives because we are introduced to so many opportunities in life?  Do you think we could find and stay in our peace, love, and uniqueness?  If so why do we leave our homes?  Email me or leave a comment.

Saturday, October 6, 2012

Day 62 -Sick

I am feeling defeated.  I started to battle a cold last night.  I figured I would try to sweat it out in yoga this morning.  I went to Christine Northcotes class at Full Circle yoga.  I tried to continue to power through class and the day.  Sometimes though, the universe slams on the breaks.  I feel like complete stuffy crap right now.  I am not wanting to do anything, but lie in bed.  Everyone has their remedies to defeat a cold.  Mine right now is laying in bed.  I tired to fight it, but this time the cold won.  I feel a bit stressed, but am going to bed. 

Friday, October 5, 2012

Day 61 - The White Feather

61 days.  I am pretty proud of my determination and the discipline I have had so far.  I have to give me some props.  There are so many times in our lives that we demand so much from ourselves, and we really do not give us the love we deserve.  I know I am not alone in this world doing this much yoga, but 2 months of yoga plus blogging everyday is quite a task.  I would like to take this opportunity to say "Good job Danny."  I am really happy and proud of where I have gone in the last year. :)

I went into Orlando Power Yoga where I took a Yin class with Steve Rubin.  It was a great and relaxing class, and there were a lot of friends that I love in the class today.

I wanted to take today and tell a story that about a white feather.

In 2001 I quit my job and decided to backpack in Europe.  I had $3,000 in my savings and had a plan to just go out there and live off of $3,000 as long as I could.  It was a changing point in my life.  When I was in Norway, I was walking to Gustav Vigeland park.  It is a really cool park where Gustav was paid to make over 200 statues in a park.  It was such a cool idea in my head.  Anyways, while trying to find this park I got lost.  I sat down on a bench and ate a sandwich.  I remember that I was not frustrated that I was lost, but rather at peace, knowing I was supposed to be sitting in the park.

While sitting there a blond haired woman came out in a long white dress.  She was walking a white Samoyed dog.  Norway was one of the first places I had visited outside the U.S.  I did not feel very comfortable talking to people.  I was caught up in my head that people would be insulted if I spoke English to them.  The woman walked up to me and smiled.  I returned the smile, and did not say a word.   She handed me a white feather. 

Looking back, I was in such a beautiful moment.  It was not about who I was, who she was, what we were doing, where we were going.  For a brief moment there was a connection that was just simple knowledge that everything was going to be OK.

About 1 year later I was hiking in Hawaii.  There is a beautiful coastal trail on the island of Kauai.  It is a total 18 mile hike out to a remote part of the island.  There are very spirtual beings that live out there and the only way to get out there is by foot.  About half way there my friend and I stopped to take a break.  My friend layed down to nap and I sat on a rock.  As I sat in the Hawaiian tropics a blond haired woman appeared in a white dress.  She went over to the river stripped down and went skinny dipping.  It was a nice view but when I looked down I noticed a white feather at my feet.  Again a real moment of beauty. 

After this point I started to pay attention.  The white feather now reminds me how life can be beutiful.  I typically will find them in times of need change or reminders to keep a simple mind.  These are messages that the universe is sending to me.  Whether I see them or I don't is really up to me. 

I thought you would enjoy that story.  I am off to bed.  I have yoga tomorrow morning.

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Day 60 - Dharma day

Today I went to the Dharma 2 series with Kelly Senn at Orlando Power Yoga.  I have been really liking this series.  It is very similar to the flow in Ashtanga which is my favorite.  Dharma yoga follows the same series of postures which allows you to keep track of your breath and focus more inside.  It is something that I want to do more of.  Kelly is talking about adding a class on Tuesday which would make me really happy.

Last night I ended up going to Orlando Power Yoga with Alex McCullough.  She put on a very good class.  If you read yesterdays blog I was trying my best to get out of a funk and once again find the present.  I was thinking the yoga class would snap me out of it, but I was unsuccessful.  I was just down in the dumps yesterday.  I could not pinpoint why I was feeling down, and I wrote it off on the weather.  Looking back I  woke up and did not want to get out of bed.  I had a negative outlook when I got out of bed.  This carried out through out the day.  I actually started to get frustrated with myself because I felt like I shouldn't be feeling this way.  I did not have a good reason. 

When I started this blog I did not want to fluff things up and act like I am always the go lucky happy person, or that I have found complete enlightenment through yoga.  I have off hours, days, weeks, months, years.  I am human.  I am happy to say that since I have been doing yoga308 I have only had off hours or at the most a day.

I have been talking a lot about trying to live in the now.  Yesterday I could not get there, but when I woke up this morning I was back.  I woke up with a fresh new look and excitement for the day.  I got out of bed with a positive outlook.  I know a lot of people believe to the extreme that if they think positively then the world will be positive around them.  This is not what I am trying to accomplish.  I am looking to keep positive in my mind, but do not expect the world to fall inline with me.  I am going to accept the days that I feel sad, mad, angry, or any of these "negative" emotions as they are part of life.  Sometimes I will fall back into the past or look into the future.  I am going to focus more and more on trying to live in the now.  However, just like I will not have both of my legs behind my head tomorrow,  I will not find this "now" tomorrow.  I will keep humble with myself and allow my mind and life to have as many faults and flaws needed to help grow.

I am off to do more moving.  Have a great day everyone, or have an off one.