What is Yoga 308
Life is a constant struggle of balancing our body on both a physical and emotional side. Through yoga I have learned several life lessons. Yoga 308 is a goal I set for myself to do at least 60 minutes of yoga for 6 days a week for the next year. I invite anyone to join me on this adventure as I blog about some of my daily experiences. This is not intended to show that I have found peace and tranquility, but rather give my honest feelings of my journey. Enjoy.
Monday, October 22, 2012
Day 78 - Focus
This is my dog. I figured I should introduce him since he does the best downward dog posture I have ever seen. My dog is the most loyal and reliable thing on earth. When I get home he will be the first one at the door wagging his tail with such an excitement and love for me. He is who I can count on if I need love in my life, as it is unconditional. He will always show this love as long as I continue to do simple things like walk him, feed him, and throw the tennis ball as many times as I can. We have a relationship unlike anything else I have experienced in life.
I was up until 3 am last night. I finally had a chance to get the rest of my house together and settle down a bit. I also looked into my financial budget which seemed to stir up some emotions. I used to have a dream that I was very much focuses on. Find a girlfriend, find a wife, get married, create a family. I always had a focus. I was going to college, finding a job, and making money all to ultimately finance my future family. When I went through my divorce I hit a limbo land which took away my focus for the future. My thoughts shifted to what went wrong and how can I prevent this from happening again. It has been about 1 year and as I continue to grow from my divorce I still do not have that same family future bound focus. My divorce was in fact a device that has turned a switch inside me guiding me towards bettering myself as a human being.
My focus over the last year has been forced to focus on myself. As I wrote earlier last week I am not looking to fill my voids with someone else and hoping they can balance out my life. Rather, I am trying to find balance so I can live my life equally with someone. This process is healthy and new, but also feels very strange. It is going to take some more time to get used to.
I have noticed a few times that these frustrations creep up on Sunday's when I am by myself where I typically settle down, clean house, and then start my planning. The thing is though other then my travels everything else is pretty much planned for the year. So I start to get ahead of myself. I begin to plan further into the future. Do I want to marry again? Do I want to have children? Where do I want to live? Should I go live in a hut in Africa? These are all questions I tend to drive myself nuts with. I am lacking a focus. A focus that I am used to. The focus has switched to me which is new. My new focus is me. Honestly, it is really hard for me to focus on me, so I start looking for a new outlet. This is why yoga308 has been so great for me. I spend at least 60 minutes a day trying to focus on me, and then I get to blog about it. It is a great way to keep honest and true to myself. It is where I am gaining my balance.
I will be going to Steve Rubin's Ashtanga class tonight at Full Circle. I have a plan this week to try to not force my thoughts. I feel like I have been trying to force myself to feel, rather then looking to see how I feel. I try to sit and clear my thoughts rather then letting them be. I want to just be in the moment rather then trying to figure out where I am supposed to go, or why I am where I am. I am working on accepting today and knowing that today will soon become tomorrow no matter what I do.
-Keep it simple.