What is Yoga 308

Life is a constant struggle of balancing our body on both a physical and emotional side. Through yoga I have learned several life lessons. Yoga 308 is a goal I set for myself to do at least 60 minutes of yoga for 6 days a week for the next year. I invite anyone to join me on this adventure as I blog about some of my daily experiences. This is not intended to show that I have found peace and tranquility, but rather give my honest feelings of my journey. Enjoy.

Monday, October 22, 2012

Day 78 - Focus

Happy Meatless Monday!

This is my dog.  I figured I should introduce him since he does the best downward dog posture I have ever seen.  My dog is the most loyal and reliable thing on earth.  When I get home he will be the first one at the door wagging his tail with such an excitement and love for me.  He is who I can count on if I need love in my life, as it is unconditional.  He will always show this love as long as I continue to do simple things like walk him, feed him, and throw the tennis ball as many times as I can.  We have a relationship unlike anything else I have experienced in life.

I was up until 3 am last night.  I finally had a chance to get the rest of my house together and settle down a bit.  I also looked into my financial budget which seemed to stir up some emotions.  I used to have a dream that I was very much focuses on.  Find a girlfriend, find a wife, get married, create a family.  I always had a focus.  I was going to college, finding a job, and making money all to ultimately finance my future family.  When I went through my divorce I hit a limbo land which took away my focus for the future.  My thoughts shifted to what went wrong and how can I prevent this from happening again.  It has been about 1 year and as I continue to grow from my divorce I still do not have that same family future bound focus.  My divorce was in fact a device that has turned a switch inside me guiding me towards bettering myself as a human being.

My focus over the last year has been forced to focus on myself.  As I wrote earlier last week I am not looking to fill my voids with someone else and hoping they can balance out my life.  Rather, I am trying to find balance so I can live my life equally with someone.  This process is healthy and new, but also feels very strange.  It is going to take some more time to get used to.

I have noticed a few times that these frustrations creep up on Sunday's when I am by myself where I typically settle down, clean house, and then start my planning.  The thing is though other then my travels everything else is pretty much planned for the year.  So I start to get ahead of myself.  I begin to plan further into the future.  Do I want to marry again?  Do I want to have children?  Where do I want to live?  Should I go live in a hut in Africa?  These are all questions I tend to drive myself nuts with.  I am lacking a focus.  A focus that I am used to.  The focus has switched to me which is new.  My new focus is me.  Honestly, it is really hard for me to focus on me, so I start looking for a new outlet.  This is why yoga308 has been so great for me.  I spend at least 60 minutes a day trying to focus on me, and then I get to blog about it.  It is a great way to keep honest and true to myself.  It is where I am gaining my balance.

I will be going to Steve Rubin's Ashtanga class tonight at Full Circle.  I have a plan this week to try to not force my thoughts.  I feel like I have been trying to force myself to feel, rather then looking to see how I feel.  I try to sit and clear my thoughts rather then letting them be.  I want to just be in the moment rather then trying to figure out where I am supposed to go, or why I am where I am.  I am working on accepting today and knowing that today will soon become tomorrow no matter what I do.

-Keep it simple.