Tonight started the three day workshop with Beryl Bender Birch at College Park Yoga in Orlando. I have heard a lot of good things about Beryl and tonight she lived up to her repetition. She provoked my mind quite a bit, and made me feel at ease. The last 2 weeks I have been going, going, going. I have felt a giant lack of focus on my part. My mind has disappeared into the past, and felt frustration of not know about the future. Beryl helped lead me back to my present.
Beryl brought up the simple question of "Why come to yoga?" I have dived into this question quite a few times, but it was great to hear others perspective. "It makes me feel good." "It helps me focus." My mind continued to think of the question as I listened to her explanations.
If I look back at how I would have answered "Why do yoga?" 10 years ago it would have been completely different as what I would answer today. In fact, if I was to try to answer this question yesterday it would probably be different then what I would answer today. My answer constantly changes. Today though it is about accepting change. Accepting that I have and will continue to loose and gain people in my life. Accepting that I will love and hate. Accepting that my body will be balanced one day and off the next. Accepting that life will constantly change.
I left the class feeling extremely grateful. I was grateful for everyone in my life. The people who hurt me brought me to who I am today. The people who have been there for me. I realize that I am a very giving person. That I have spent my energy so much in the past trying to help others with their insecurities that I lost who I was. I changed who I was to make people feel more comfortable. I in fact stunned my growth, sacrificing it in hopes to build their happiness.
I realize the great people I have in my life. People that want to watch me grow. They support my lifestyle and can't wait to see what I do next. I am able to help them through their bad days, as they help me through mine. We grow together in hopes that we all grow into better people. I do not have to ask these people to give as they already do. I feel very grateful for these people in my life and will continue to give back to them.
I also have been reading www.thedailylove.com I find a lot in common with Masin who writes a great blog. He recently was writing about focus and how his mind has a Hyper focus. Where he can concentrate on one thing intensely for a short period of time. Then he moves onto the next thing to focus on. He needs to manage his space in time to make sure he stays on his path.
I have been noticing that when I start feeling this overwhelming funk as I have had in the last couple weeks, I am lacking a focus. Also, if I want to focus on something and constantly get thrown off this focus I seem to have trouble. I feel completely aligned with the now today. I feel like I have a pretty good grasp and focus on the present.
Tomorrow the workshop picks up again at 7:30 so I am off to bed.
Thank you to all of you in my life that help me realize who I am, help me grow, and love me for me.
Much love tonight - Danny :)