What is Yoga 308

Life is a constant struggle of balancing our body on both a physical and emotional side. Through yoga I have learned several life lessons. Yoga 308 is a goal I set for myself to do at least 60 minutes of yoga for 6 days a week for the next year. I invite anyone to join me on this adventure as I blog about some of my daily experiences. This is not intended to show that I have found peace and tranquility, but rather give my honest feelings of my journey. Enjoy.

Sunday, December 9, 2012

Day 126 - Happiness

I am sitting in my rocking chair on my back porch with my dog this morning.  There are a bunch of cackling crows and the squirrels are running around.  I have noticed the leaves have fallen from the trees and that my vegetable garden is happy this morning.  The sun is shining and I am sipping on a cup of coffee.  It is a perfect day off from yoga and a great way to start my day.

I am reflecting over this week.  It has been a great week.  I took in so much from Dharma Mittra in New York and Marianne and I spent a very thought provoking and inward reflecting evening with our friends Kelly and Alex.  Looking back over it all....WOW.   There is a lot to digest.

I feel happy this morning.

Looking back I started to think about my thoughts of how I used to try to bring happiness into my life.  Looking way back I remember wanting video games, baseball cards, and candy.  I remember thinking at one point if I had some toy more kids would want to play with me.  If I had a lot of friends I would be happy.

I remember looking at the things I did not have.  I did not have a girlfriend in high school.  I did not have the strength or weight to be a good football player.  I focused on building and getting those things I did not have.  Once I got those I would be happy.

I remember switching my happiness into drugs and alcohol.  The mind numbing feeling would heighten my emotions, but also allow me to avoid the emotions I did not want to face.  If I never had to be sad I would always be happy.

I remember out of college thinking happiness was found once I got that perfect job.  Once I had that job that paid me well. I could start feeling stable and getting the things I needed in order to keep this happiness.  Once I got that stability I could attract that perfect woman that would make me happy.

Once I did not find that instant happiness in my job I remember thinking happiness was a place.  I quit my job to go to Europe and find that Utopia.   Once I found that place where people are stress free I will truly be happy.

I remember thinking if I could make someone else happy this would bring me true happiness.  I would set a side my desires, needs, wants, and emotions and focus on making her happy.  If she was happy then this would make me happy.

If only I had a truck, a home, a wife, a child, a dog, a sofa, a garden, lots of money, more drugs, a plane ticket to India.   I have seen some of the happiest people in the world outside the USA.  These people have nothing, but for some reason have this giant glow and smile on their face. 

My entire life I have been focusing on trying to get out of the emotions, feelings, and the concept of living in the now.  I have been searching for happiness outwardly.  Always thinking it was found in a thing, place, ore person.  I have spent the last year and a half building back my core self.  Trying to live in the moment.  trying to release the wants, trying to let go of the emotions and feelings I hold onto.  I feel the happiness starting to emit from me.  True and unique happiness.  The great thing is the type of happiness is also bringing others with similar happiness into my life.  I am beginning to see the difference between the people who are truly happy in their life and the ones that use my happiness.

I feel like I am at a new stepping stone in my path of life.  As I search inside I am finding happiness.

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