What is Yoga 308

Life is a constant struggle of balancing our body on both a physical and emotional side. Through yoga I have learned several life lessons. Yoga 308 is a goal I set for myself to do at least 60 minutes of yoga for 6 days a week for the next year. I invite anyone to join me on this adventure as I blog about some of my daily experiences. This is not intended to show that I have found peace and tranquility, but rather give my honest feelings of my journey. Enjoy.

Monday, January 21, 2013

Day 169 - Gloomy day

I am frustrated.  I just woke up this way this morning.  I had some frustrating dreams, and I just woke up and started the day in this frustrated moment.  I had my good moments today, but I really do feel gloomy today.  I tried to get into a small hot yoga class here, but there was not enough room at the door for me.  I had no other choice in this small town, but to do yoga at home. I feel like the world is moving around me, and that I am having trouble relating with the world today.

A young man did some really stupid things over the last week, and when I talked to him about it he used the excuse that he was drunk.  This of course stuck in my head.  I was there at one point of my life, where I did stupid things and blamed it on drugs or alchol, but I am way past that now.  9 years sober and I have nothing like that to fall back on anymore.  If I do something stupid, then I am just stupid.  No excuses.

I started to think how crazy it is that some people (me included) used the excuse of being drunk as a good excuse to being an idiot.  As if we have no control picking up that beer, smoking pot, or popping that pill.  As if something else is in control at that moment.  If you use the excuse of drinking too much please just drop it.  Just say I am an idiot.  If you are constantly using this excuse, stop drinking, this will allow you to stop being an idiot.  Or just continue being an idiot and blaming something other then yourself.

There were so many of my emotions that were hindered and stunned because of this.  I could only express certain emotions when I was high or drunk.  Maybe you know, or you are the person, who loves a good glass of wine after work because it helps you unwind.  At one point of our life we became so fearful of our emotions we depended on something else to help escape these fearful emotions.  We turned to drugs (prescribed or not) and alcohol to keep these emotions from actually getting too us.  These natural emotions somehow became bad.  The more we run the more these emotions control us.  I probably still use things like coffee or yoga to help keep me away from these emotions.  However, the longer I have been away from drugs and alcohol I realize that these "negative" emotions are necessities for us to live a normal and healthy life.  I am having a gloomy day today, I am not going to hide this or pretend that I am in a good mood.

I cannot explain how being sober as long as I have been has made me feel so good.  Being on the sober side, I realize how hindering drugs and alcohol really are.  Some people look at me as if I have a problem because I no longer drink or smoke pot.  I look at this as such a freedom to so much unnecessary drama that this brings into our lives.  I have nothing to hide behind.  The only person you will see is me.  Personally, these are the people I want in my life.  Nothing to hide, secure enough to be themselves and show their true emotions without hiding behind anything.

Please send me an honest email or comment.  Be yourself.