What is Yoga 308

Life is a constant struggle of balancing our body on both a physical and emotional side. Through yoga I have learned several life lessons. Yoga 308 is a goal I set for myself to do at least 60 minutes of yoga for 6 days a week for the next year. I invite anyone to join me on this adventure as I blog about some of my daily experiences. This is not intended to show that I have found peace and tranquility, but rather give my honest feelings of my journey. Enjoy.

Thursday, February 28, 2013

Day 207 - Silencing the inner voice

 Happy Vegan Thursday!

I was so excited to get back into the Dharma Series 3 class with Kelly Senn at Orlando Power Yoga.  It really made me feel good to be around so many people that I know doing yoga.  I love and missed the community here in Orlando.  Again, it is great to be back.  The other thing that I missed was Dharma yoga.  I am very familiar with the series, and it made me feel good to be back in challenging postures.  I also missed the heat.  I was noticing how good my muscles felt in the heat and began to wonder if my injury to my back was due to the lack of heat in the studios.  My muscles were definitely more tight in Colorado.  Again after my again, it is great to be back.

I talked a little bit yesterday about quieting and noticing my inner voice.  My goal right now is to just notice my inner voice and see what it has to say.  Today at the end of the class while we sat in meditation I started to listen.

"OK here I am sitting and being still.  I am going to listen to my inner voice now.  Here I go.  I am ready to listen.  Oh wait...My inner voice is currently the voice telling me to listen.  So I am thinking of how I should think about my inner voice, but my inner voice is actually the one thinking this."

Oh boy...This is going to be hard.  I was kind of laughing at my whole experience.  I have to take this all with a grain of salt.  Did I really expect to sit down and figure it all out?  I have found in the past the most enlighting experiences that occur in my life is when I am not trying.  I found myself thinking about this throughout the day.  Every time I did I just dropped it.  Truth is I thought about this topic quite a bit today.  Every time it came up though I tried to brush it aside and save it until when I sat down to write.

I am also very excited to be back in Orlando where I feel like I can try to get back on my diet goals. I have been really good still eating meat only once or twice a week.  Being on the road I ate out a lot, and there were a lot of places where I was not sure where or what to eat.  I had a veggie sub from Subway the three days I was driving home. 

I feel like I have some great goals moving into a healthier lifestyle.  Good family, friends, yoga, good eating habits, no drinking, no drugs, a GREAT dog, a good therapist, a great home, painting, growing vegetables.  I am very appretiative of the love and joy that is in the air tonight.

Did I mention I am glad to be back in Orlando.

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Day 206 - I am home

I have officially made it back to Orlando.  What a drive.  I am glad to be back, and excited to get back to what I feel is great place to do yoga.  I took the night off in preparation for the days to come.  Plus it was a super long drive and I am tired.

During the drive I listened to the audio version of "The Untethered Soul."  It is a great book and highly recommended.  It talks about our inner voice and how we have a constant chatter box inside our head. It is chatting, telling us what to do, where to go, and figuring out the past.  The book does a lot better job at explaining it.  It gives a better understanding on why we have our inner, and ways to quiet it.  So read it.

Yoga is a great way to practice quieting your inner voice.   It takes years and years to quiet this voice.  Masters did not sit down in their first yoga class and shut off their mind.  People need to understand this will take a lot of practice.  I feel like I have gotten to a point in my life where I can recognize that there is this chatter inside my head.  I have found moments of peace and quiet through yoga, but am no where near a point where I sit and shut it off.  I am recognizing this pointless chatter that is really just meaningless. 

My plans in the future is to recognize my chatter box.  I want to sit with my chatter box, and accept my chatter box.  I want to notice what brings up this chatter, and just let it be.

I also notice that my blog is a lot of my chatter.  It is in essence my chatter box being written down for all to see.  I often think about subjects to write about during the day or even during yoga.  I am also going to make a point to try to let this blog chatter go until I actually sit and write my blog.  I see a correlation between my blog and my chatter.  I am excited to continue to write.

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Day 205 - 24 hours of driving

15 more hours in the truck has gotten me all the way to Mississippi.  My pup is missing running on the mountain and refusing to get back in the truck when we take breaks.  9 more hours will get us back into Orlando.  My back and neck are really tense.  I loosened my muscles up through yoga again in the hotel room.  I am looking forward to getting back into a yoga studio.

I feel like riding in my truck has given me a lot of time to think.  It is close to a meditation practice to me.  I have noticed that my over thinking has calmed down quite a bit since I drove out to Colorado in January.  I owe this calming to my yoga practice. 

I learned a lot about myself on this trip.  Travel can give a great perspective in my life, but it really makes me appretiate the little things.  I was excited to see green grass again today.  After snow and brown dust, sand, and rock, I forgot about the lush green in Florida.  I am excited to get back to my daily routines, eating habits, yoga practice, and being with friends and family.  I have more travel ahead, but I am excited to be at home.

One thing I feel after this trip, is you grow from yoga on the mat.  The mat does not have to travel across the U.S. or world.  Self growth is when you start to be still.  This blog is going to be short again, I really need sleep. 

Monday, February 25, 2013

Day 204 - No aliens found

14 hours driving in my truck and 2 more days of this.  I am spent.  As tired as I am, it did feel good to get on the mat and do some postures that opened up my shoulders, back, and neck.  I tried to focus on the areas that were most effected by the drive, but that ended up being my entire body.

I always wanted to drive through Roswell, New Mexico.  I am not sure why, but I really wanted to see what the small town looked like.  It was a quick drive through, but I did not see any aliens.

I was thinking on the drive on how I must sound at times self absorbed or hypocritical in writing this blog.  My goal is to do yoga 6 days a week and blog about it.  My goal is not to present myself in a certain manner.  I still promise to represent who I am in the moment.

I need to get some rest to continue the drive.  23 more hours to Orlando.

Sunday, February 24, 2013

Day 203 - Old dog with no fear

Marianne and I are still exploring Sedona, AZ.  Today we climbed Cathedral Rock.  My 9 year old lab Orion climbed with us.  It was really fun to watch my dog climb a mountain again.  He was nervous in some places and tried to figure out how to scale the rock to stay with us.  He cried at times and was super excited other times.  Nothing stopped him though.  He was determined to climb the mountain with us.

There is a lot of things we can learn from nature and animals.  We all get excited, we all worry, we all cry, and we all have the option to climb the mountain or stay on the base waiting to get fed :) .  Which ever way you choose, we all our living our lives.  I feel when you climb the mountain and see the view from the top there is nothing like it.  An old dog still has the spunk, energy, and excitement to climb up the mountain.  I was inspired and proud today.

Sedona is a very holistic and a healing place.  People here are very positive.  Typically when I see people who are extremely positive I start to wonder.  They seem to be pushing this positivity so much that they are hiding from something.  Life is full of both negative and postive energy.  I think we need to aknowledge both and not hide from either.  Do not build communities with hopes of becoming completely positive.  When we do this we are surprised when the negative hits us.  At the same time do not push your positive beliefs onto others.  Let people grow at their own speed.

I heard someone say today that "He loved Sedona, everyone here is at a higher consciousness."  Anyone who would ever say this is in fact lowering their consciousness.  We cannot ever say we are better then someone else or higher then anyone else.  This comment alone belittles us as humans. 

I am not looking to push my beliefs onto people.  My goal with yoga308.com is to stay honest and express my opinions.  I am not here to tell others what to do.  Keep life simple, honest, and real.

There is a lot of good things happening here.  I do feel very good and positive. 

Saturday, February 23, 2013

Day 202 - Exploring Sedona.

I am out in Sedona, AZ with Marianne.  We are having a fun time hiking and exploring the area.  I ended up doing yoga in the hotel.  It was a little more of an upbeat yoga.  I can still feel that little tweak in my back, but I believe it is getting better.  I am taking the rest of tonight to enjoy my time I have here in Sedona with Marianne.  Go out and find something to explore today.  Find something and enjoy it.  Enjoy your day. 

Friday, February 22, 2013

Day 201 - Travel on.

In Moab on the way to Arizona.

Well, on to day 201.  What perfect timing, because I am packing my bags and heading down south to check out Sedona, Arizona with Marianne.  I am still very proud.  After yesterday, actually putting out to the world that I am proud of myself there seemed to be a big weight lifted off my shoulders.  Maybe I am just on a high, but I feel much more focused on where I am.  I feel much more alert on what I am doing.  I am not as clouded as I have been in the past.  I do not feel the need to get sooo much done.  I feel more relaxed.

Life is good and I am striving to be as a good as a person as I can.  I accept my imperfections and have my entire life and then lifetimes after that to continue to strive for a pure love, compassion, and peace.  In the mean time I am me.  I accept who I am now and I am proud of what I have done.

I have spent my first 37 years building up dreams, illusions, and ideas.  These things that we are supposed to do in our life (go to school, get a job, make a lot of money, get married).  I did this.  I am self sustaining.  Now what?  I almost feel like I should spend the next 37 years moving backwards.  Dissect the reasoning behind why I did all this in the first place.

I almost feel like my life has been a video game.  I am always driving to the next level.  I want to build up as many points as possible and use them when appropriate.  I feel stuck on a level, but I now need to go back and try a bunch of different strategies to get unstuck.  I realize now that I am happy I am on level 37 and I kind of want to jump around the previous levels for awhile and glimpse some of the things that I missed.  Understand the game a little better.

I took the day off today for the long haul to Sedona.  I will be finding some new yoga in Sedona tomorrow. 

Thursday, February 21, 2013

Day 200 - Happy 200 days of yoga

 There is a time we need to stop and just celebrate.  As you may know I love to self critic myself.  Seems like a lot lately.  Today though... I AM PROUD OF 200 DAYS!!!  Looking back I have made it pretty far and have learned a lot through both my mind, body, and soul.  I recognize that I am very hard on myself.  For instance today... I want to say things like "200 days is nothing, people have been doing yoga for 50 years."  "People do not care." ect.

I recognize these self imploding traits and am going to make small changes in my life.   I am telling as many people today about my 200 days and be proud of my accomplishment.  I am doing yoga308 ultimately for me, but I need to stand up and be proud of the things that I do.  Not to show how good I am or that I am better then someone else, but rather be proud of who I am. 

Tonight I am going to Yin Yoga with Lindsey Barr.  It is the perfect way to celebrate 200 days. 

Yoga has many thoughts that come and go.  Reading back I show a lot of different thoughts, ideas, and traits.  Some are temporary, some repeat themselves, and some are harder to recognize.

The big things moving through my life now are.

- Learning to be still
- Accept my present
- Stop being self demanding.
- Letting go

Today I am happy and grateful that I have the mind, body, and soul that allowed me to accomplish the past 200 days.  Today let us all find the love, joy, and acceptance that put us right here today and in the now.  BE HAPPY!!!

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Day 199 - Finding stillness

I see life as an opportunity.  There are so many directions we can take.  I want to use my days to the fullest.  If I am in Steamboat Springs, CO I want to explore the mountain on my snowboard, hike with the dog, visit with friends, or drink mocha at my favorite Ciao Gelato.  I have what I dub as my responsibilities, work, yoga, blogging, and above all my pup.  If I am working I get very much involved on the internet.  If I am playing I get very much involved in that activity.  There are only 24 hours in my day, just like everyone else.  I have a mind that tries to do as much as possible, and it usually takes over and makes me crazy.

With this back injury I am being given a gift.  I was thinking back to Anamaya in Costa Rica when I first started yoga308.com.  I had a great opportunity to drop everything I was doing and just be.  I did not worry where I was going, what I was doing, or what had happened.  I lived life in stillness.  When I returned life slowly started to take over again.  My stillness began to fade as I started the "I gotta's"  again.  I gotta go to work, I gotta eat dinner, I gotta take the dog to the park.  I gotta go to yoga, I gotta plan my trip, I gotta...  I have a endless supply of I gotta's. 

I keep saying that yoga is not about jumping into a handstand or the perfect posture.  However, I think my mind still has the drive to perfect all postures.  My issue lately is dropping everything and just sitting still.  This evening I found myself sitting in my room realizing again that I do not have to do anything.  All these "I gotta's" can wait for as long as I want.  I decided to challenge myself to sit still for 1 hour on my yoga mat.  Try it.  It's pretty hard.  I decided to not have any music and my roommates were gone.  I just listened to the world.  My dog snoring, the shoveling from my next door neighbor, clicking noises from the floor heater.  I did a couple postures when I felt like it.  I concentrated on my breath and tried to connect with it.  I listened to my mind think about my breath and what posture I should do and for how long.  When these thoughts came up I went back to trying to sit still. 

So many thoughts try to penetrate my head.  Things I need to do, things from my past, other people's problems.  How I have not done handstands, gone snowboarding, yoga retreats, relationships.  Every time I told myself, "Not now, I am being still."  Should I have been looking for visions, feeling meditation, sitting up straighter..."Not now, I am being still."

I did not find what I believe to be a true and complete stillness where I sat with no worries in my mind, but I moved in a step in the right direction.  It is something I want to practice a lot more on my own.  Some parts of my life is so overpowering.  Stopping and finding the now in stillness was exactly what I needed today.

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Day 198 - Drop the blame

Tonight I went to Yin yoga with Lindsey Barr at Steamboat Fitness.  I discovered during practice that my back is still tweaked.  It is frustrating for me as it is going to keep me off the mountain.  I had to make the decision today.  If I have one semi fall snowboarding I think I will really injure myself.  So I once again decided to scratch my snowboarding.

I have been thinking about a lot of things during this trip.

We are taught how to grow in our life.  Some of us are taught that we should build our ego, mistrust and hate.  We are given this through our parents or it starts to grow on us throughout our life.  We can be given traits that ultimately hinder our growth.  It is important to recognize these traits as hinders and try to let them go, try to release them, or try to move towards a positive light.  The passing on trait that seems to get people stuck in this growth hinder is blame.  Blaming our parents, leads into blaming our friends, coworkers, significant others, or even strangers.  We never learn to take responsibility because we live a life of blame.  If it is someone's fault then it does not have to be our own.  We learn to feel sorry for ourselves and live a life of I deserve.  Life becomes victimized.   We start to live a life searching for someone to take care of us.  Someone who understands how horrible of a life we have lived.  Ultimately though these inherit traits of mistrust and ego we once again self sabotage our ties.

Some of us are taught that through love, trust, and giving we can grow towards a better world.  We learn to continue to communicate, listen, and understand our similarities and not our differences.  We live a life of becoming self sustainable.  We seek other people, but in the idea to help out that person.  We seek a life to give.  Not giving sense of expecting something in return, but rather giving for the act of giving.  We look past the blame and onto forgiveness.  We ultimately become better people. 

Life is not always so black and white.  I have learned from my past that the best thing I can do is continue to pass on what my parents taught me.  I can do this through love, trust, and a giving heart.  I however am not responsible for the growth of others.  I am not a provider for other people's happiness.  I take responsibility for my own actions, live my life, and do not need to show people "the light."

I am happy to now recognize these traits in myself, but I am also happy to recognize these traits in others.  I am better at separating others issues from my own.  We are all growing on this earth.  Some of us are fed good plant food to help us grow while others are constantly having our growth stunned.  We can only be responsible for our growth, but we can decide which pot to grow in.  We can be in a pot full of beautiful, healthy, growing plants.  We can be strangled by other decaying plants.  We can be amongst decaying plants and decide to take responsibility for our roots and grow brighter and more brilliant then the other plants that are stunned in their growth.

We are taught how to grow.  Drop the blame.  It is up to us to figure out the healthy, lovely, and beautiful path to continue our growth.   Start to make the change today.

Monday, February 18, 2013

Day 197 - I am spent

I woke up completely drained today.  I felt both physically and mentally drained.  It was a really strange feeling.  I actually crawled back into bed today at 2 and woke up at 5.  I debated sitting and meditating for an hour so I can say I did my yoga for today, but I am deciding to take day 2 off.

I am seeing today how much I push myself and how demanding I am on myself.  I think a lot of my friends and family see me as someone who has got it easy.  I have a steady income with the ability to pack up and live anywhere.  I have the option in my life to sleep all day, not work, and do nothing.  What most people do not understand is the self discipline and demands I put on myself that actually got me to where I am today.  These demands are still engraved in my head.  My life lesson for the last week has been trying to get me to sit still.  My back has limited my yoga and snowboarding so I was forced to sit still.  This sitting still has made me feel like I am not producing or moving in a forward direction.  I felt like I was wasting time not snowboarding on the mountain which was one of the primary reasons to come here.

My mind typically switches gears pretty fast.  I make the best out of any situation.  So last week I got a lot of work done, met up with old friends, and practiced being still.  When things do not go my way though I seem to fixate on the things that I do not have in my life rather then the things that I do have in my life.  This same thought process comes up when I sit still or take the day off.

I am beginning to question the whole purpose of yoga308.com.  I love yoga.  I wanted to document my growth, but I also am wondering why I feel the need for such discipline in my life.  I guess I have been around a lot of people in this town who do not have much in discipline and goals.  They are on a much different path of growth ,which is fine, but there is a fear inside of becoming unmotivated or running out of ideas.  I should experience as much as I can when I still can.  This fear has a lot to do with my drive.  I do not want to be a "bad" person so I work as hard as I can to be someone who I perceive as "good."  The best way I know how to do this is through self discipline.  Even on my sick day I am still feeling it necessary to write in this blog.  Is this for you or for me?

I have so much that I want to give to this world, but maybe the world is trying to give me the patience, acceptance, and self love required to continue this life style. 

Sunday, February 17, 2013

Day 196 - Just chill

Still chilling out on my body.  Tonight I did some more home yoga.  I still feel like there is a reason why my back still feels uncomfortable, and I still feel like the world around me is telling me to try to sit still.  So tonight I tried my best to do that.  I was probably in a seated meditation for 30 minutes during my practice tonight.  My mind was thinking maybe I should try a headstand or an Ashtanga series posture (I have not taken an Ashtanga class since January 3rd), but I was fighting it stressing that it may be more benefitial to sit still.  I did some basic yin stretches and went into shoulder stand and plow.  I felt very zen like after my practice

This weekend I caught up with some close friends.  I spent a lot of time philosophizing about life.  I love talking about different thoughts, beliefs, and ideas.  I love getting different insights, but I also feel like I have had a lot to say lately.  There are a lot of thoughts that go through my brain.  I have found that I can drive myself crazy thinking about everything.  Being open and free to talk about life helps me to formulate my ideas.  So does blogging.  This weekend was much more of a trying to figure out my life weekend then a letting loose and having fun weekend.  I think it important to keep this a balance in my life.

I am still feeling like I am not having as much on my mind as I normally do while blogging.  I feel like I did a few days ago.  That I have been talking and writing about the same thing over and over again.  It reminds me when I was in middle school and we had to write everyday in our journal.  If I did not have to say much I would write "I do not have anything good to say today."   There is a part of me that just wants to write that and be done with today's blog.  Maybe it is the fact that I feel like I am less disciplined because I have not gone to a physical posture class in a week.  I kind of feel like I should take a break on the blog.  I have blogged for 196 straight day.  This is the first true day where I feel like I am just going through the emotions and putting whatever on the blog.

I think it is time for me to go and sit still some more. Hopefully tomorrow I will have more on my mind.  Until then, keep sending me emails or comment.

Saturday, February 16, 2013

Day 195 - Do things

I really enjoyed my day off from yoga today.  I decided since I felt like I was run down yesterday that today would be a good time to take off, try to recover my body and mind, and continue on today.  I spent most my day up with my friends Mike and Meg talking about ideas, playing board games with their kids, throwing the tennis ball with the dog, and philosophizing about life.

One thing I keep thinking about lately is the amount of discipline I have been having in my life.  I am looking at life a lot differently these days.  I feel like the drama of life is all around me, but when it surrounds me I use it as an opportunity to grow.  I also am noticing a lot of my feelings and insecurities I am actually projecting onto other people.  These are small things, but I also see so many people do this around me.  If someone is constantly talking to me about how they have been really good and have been sober for the last 8 days typically this person is either not sober or has some type of security issue with in their life.  I often wonder if I can live in a life and have no insecurities.  Where do these come from?  How do they sometimes jut fade away.  If I am secure about everything am I just then an arrogant human being?

I was thinking about how healthy I feel lately.  I do not have the typical drugs and alcohol controlling my life,  I am working on feeling good about what I eat and showing compassion to all living beings,  My addictive personality is still around, but I embrace it shifting towards more healthy things (in my mind) like painting, yoga, and traveling.  I have a thriving business that me and my business partner started from the ground up.

I have been very accepting that I deserve this life.  We all have choices in our life.  It is up to me to do what I do.  I do not blame or rely on others to get me where I need to go.  I appreciate everything that my family, friends, and loved ones have done for me.  I think ultimately life's choices and struggles may be as simply changed by getting out there and doing something.   Find passion, find love, find growing opportunity, find determination, find discipline, but most of all get out there and DO all these things.

You know what a healthy life consists of.   When you find love in you, love will grow, love will surround you, and you will be love.

Day 194 - Feeling a bit exhausted

I did a gentle yoga session at home today.  Today I was still tending too my back.  I love how I need to mention that every time.  I feel like I need an excuse to do an "easy" yoga session.   I still feel like I need to get on the mountain.  There is a big component in my brain that wants to experience so much in life.  It leads me to so many different types of interests in my life, and down so many different paths.   I am still on a take care of my body course this weekend.  I know I need to rest my back, but my mind also wants to use this time wisely. 

Tonight I sat in meditation.  I was trying to have a goal to sit still, but I was just not feeling it.  Today would have been great to have an instructor present because my mind was all over the place.  I had to find acceptance today that my body was banged up and my mind was bored with looking too deep inside.

I did have a great night though playing around downtown with some close friends.  I was realizing how many people there are to talk to in this world, how many doorways can be opened, how many friendship can be made.  Imagine if you were able to spend your time talking to everyone and finding similar connections.  I felt like there is so much for me to get in this world.  I am excited, but it can also be so exhausting.

I think this is truly how I am feeling tonight.  Exhausted.  Excited, but exhausted.  I think this is a good sign for me to stop blogging now.

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Day 193 - Thank you Steamboat Springs

Tonight I went to a Yin class with Lindsey Barr at the Yoga Center of Steamboat.  There is a big part of my mind that wants to push myself.  It demands so much.  I want answers now.  I want to find a solution to a problem now.  I want life to be all figured out.  Today my back still feels a little on the uncomfortable side.  I could have gone snowboarding on the mountain today which had talks of great conditions.  I could have gone to a more physical class tonight.  It seems like the lessons in my face this week are SLOOOOWWWW down.  Sit, meditate, breathe, relax...Everything is moving in the proper direction.  Everything is wonderful.

When I actually sat in class tonight I felt pretty centered.  I felt connected with the room.  About halfway through the class I realized that 8 years ago in February 2005 I first came to Steamboat.  I actually came to the same studio I was in tonight.  I remember being so excited for so many things when I first moved here.  I was going to learn how to snowboard, see what real snow is, experience a powder day, go camping, hiking, biking, show my dog adventures in the snow and mountains.  There was so many things I was so excited to do.  I realized tonight (it still feels sad saying it) that Steamboat is my past.  I may come back here again, but I see so many more adventures and opportunities elsewhere.  I am starting to feel that excitement, joy, and adventurous spirit elsewhere.

As I lied in savasana tonight I thought of the Yampa river pictured above.   I remember when I saw it out the yoga studio's windows the first time.  I remember thinking how beautiful and peaceful it all seemed.  Memories of all the experiences with the river started to enter my mind.  Tubing with my friends in the summer time (ironically the instructor), my dog winning the crazy river dog contest, fishing with my dad, biking along side the river, talking to my mom watching the ducks, finding my secret swimming hole, so much was tied in the river.  I am realizing how much of a full circle my life has taken.

I am wondering how much I would have noticed tonight if I was still pushing myself.  If I was still trying to concentrate in getting into handstand.  I think the fact that I was forced to stop, sit, and breathe may have brought me these thoughts tonight.

I watched so many memories come and go tonight.  Sooooo many good things happened here.  Sooooo many lessons and growth here.   I left here after my divorce.  I fled.  I came back here to pick up the peaces and get some answers.  Tonight I received what I needed.  Thank you Steamboat for EVERYTHING that happened to me here.  Steamboat is a great place.  I will always have a home here to come visit.  I love my friends here, but it's time to move on.

Much love,

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Day 192 - The end of the path

This is a picture of one of my favorite paintings found in Denver's Vegan restaurant Watercourse.  It was done by Ravi Zupa.  I have a giant connection with buffalo.  The buffalo is sharing a flask with the squirrel.  There is a story behind all the paintings that I just discovered. The painting makes me think how life can be so gentle if we set our differences aside and keep our common values on the forefront of our mind.  Worries, insecurities, and drama are pushed away if we keep the simplicity of that we all want to feel love, compassion, and acceptance in this world.

My body is ruling my mind this week.  My back still feels a bit out of whack and I just want to make sure it is OK before doing anything crazy.  So no snowboarding for me today, but I did a solo gentle yoga tonight at home.  I was actually challenging my body to be still (this is very hard for a lot of us, me included).  I found a gentle part of my mind and meditated during my practice for about 15 minutes.  It was kind of cool.  At one point I forgot I was in a room by myself and actually thought I was in a room full of people.  I listened to how my body wanted to move in a really chill way and I just allowed those movements to take place.  Gentle spine rolls, hip openers, and lots of yin postures.  My body is the one that is tweaked, but I am finding it is my mind that really needs the work.  I need to find more stillness in my life.  I plan on working on this a lot more.  Maybe I should try random 15 meditation sessions.

 I have talked a lot about being on our path.  That the universe keeps trying to point us and keep us on our path.  I started to think a bit on where my path is leading.  I started to visualize an actual path that would travel up a mountain.  As I visualized this path I realized there has to be an end of the path.  I think for a long time I felt like my path would lead to this place where I could sit back and say "I did it!!!"  I am realizing there is not a point.  It is a constant ongoing path.  However, our path is connected to the rest of the mountain.  The mountain is connected to the rest of the world.  The world is connected to the rest of the universe.  The fact that we move on the path is what truly keeps the universe in motion.  I believe that the little steps we take on our path have little or big impacts on this universe.  If we are heading towards a place in our heart where we have complete love, compassion, and acceptance, then the rest of the universe is closer to moving towards the same direction. 

Moving in a positive direction takes a lot of courage and discipline.  I would like to continue to fill my heart with love on a daily basis.  This requires me to trust the world that has scorn me.  To accept that the same world that has done negative things to me, did so to place me where I am today.  To be proud of my accomplishments, but keep them from building my ego.  To basically put the past aside and grasp where I am in the now.  Drop the victim,  Drop the world of I deserve, and GIVE.

For the first time I have gotten to the point where I feel like I am regurgitating the same ideas onto my blog.  I am pondering if this is helpful to me anymore.  As I write this I feel like I am just in a point of all this where I am maybe in a transition stage.  Maybe something new is on the horizon.  Maybe new thoughts are just ready to explode out of my brain.  Who knows.  I just know that I will continue to write.

Feel free to write to me too.  Emails or comments or fine.  Or you can start a blog called "ThingsIwanttowritetoDanny.com"

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Day 191 - Yin Violinist

There are days when I feel out of place.  Like I do not belong in this country, planet, or universe.  Today though I feel like I was celebrating my differences.  I worked very hard to get to where I am today.

Tonight I went to a Yin class with Lindsey Barr at Steamboat Fitness.  Tonight was a special class where a live violinist was playing during class.  When I first heard about it I thought of a fiddle player playing "Devil went down to Georgia."  I could not imagine a violin in class.  When I got there it was really kind of cool.  The violin sound reminded me of a Japanese sound mixed with a little back woods pioneer feel.  The music had no lyrics and it had a pattern to it that actually helped me meditate and relax.  It made me wonder if there is a science between yoga and music.  If we could guide our mind into a certain direction through combining these two.

I still have a bit of an issue with my back so I could not fall into a deep meditation, but I did have some fun visions.

My first vision was of a coyote who was running through a field near my home in Steamboat.  I have always been into spirit animals and take these types of visions as signs that the universe is trying to tell me something.  The coyote is a nice mixture reminding me that anything is possible and not to take things too seriously.  I often need to be reminded about this as I do look at life and it's many possibilities, but often get beat down because I try to do them all.  My visions then flew into a monkey jumping around back and forth.  The monkey is pretty important to me this year (long story on this one).  I finally saw the monkey morph into the Egyptian god Anubis.  I have a lot of fun looking into what these visions may mean.  I always feel like they have meaning behind them, but I am just not smart enough to see the meaning.

Today I was in a coffee shop easedropping on two 17 year old girls philosophising on life. They were discussing so many things it really brought me back. "When we get to college things will change.  We will be away from our parents, and it will be our time to be free and party."  "I am sure by then I will be married and have two children."  Life seemed so planned out back then.  It seemed so complicated, but now looks so simple. 

I felt like back then I had all the answers.  I could talk to people and say things like..."I will figure it out after college."  "Life will presents itself once I find a woman."  "Things will be clear once I have children."  The older I get the more I am finding that there are no real answers, only questions.  I am really just wanting to stop with the questions and just live my life the best I feel I can.  It is the best thing I can do for my brain.

Monday, February 11, 2013

Day 190 - Keep on path

Tonight I went to Virv yoga and did Lyn's Yoga Rave class.  I definitely pulled something or have a pinched nerve in my back.  I had issues doing any twist, and really just took it easy.  I am thinking it is a minor injury and am hoping I can work it out with a massage, hot springs, and rest. Until then I am going to listen to my body.

I was talking to a friend today about our path's in life.  We philosophized back and forth about how the universe, god, our gut, (call it what you want) is guiding us on our path.  I believe everything both bad and good happen in this world to help lead us to our true destiny.  Our destiny is not a solid place, thing, or person.  My destiny is a simple part of this universe that makes the rest move in the direction the universe is supposed to go.  The positive aspects in life are easy, but the "negative" aspects are what I continue to look into.  Why am I frustrated, angry, sad?  How can I stay away from these feelings and emotions?   Instead why not embrace these feelings as messages that you are heading in the wrong direction.  Signs pointing you elsewhere.

It is you that surrounds yourself in the environment you are in.  You can hang out in a nightclub every weekend, and wonder why there is so much drama in your life.  Dump drugs and alcohol into your system so you can avoid emotions. You then start to forget how to be and grow with these emotions.  What if instead you steered away from the drama filled people in your life and hung out in a meditation center every weekend.  What if instead of drugs and alcohol you filled your body with fresh squeezed juice.  I am a firm believer that drama is made because we go and seek it out.  Maybe it's time we focus on our path and let the drama happen amongst us, but not with us.

I have been focusing on my path this 2013.  Sometimes our path is masked with illusion.  In 2011 my path was to build a home, roots, and raise a family.  My path was leading towards being a provider for my family.  Looking back I know that is not where I was meant to be.  Getting away from that "negative" experience I was given strength, inward perspective, love and respect, and a new view on life.  I went down a path that I thought we were all meant to go down, but my gut was telling me another thing.  My gut was my path.  My gut tells me I will one day be a family man, but now is not the time.

Stop and drop who you are.  Drop what society tells you you are.   Drop what happened to you in the past.  Drop who you are supposed to be.  Drop the act or sales pitch that tries to prove who you are.  What is left?  What is your true being?  What is it that you truly want to stand for in this world?  Get back on your path.

When you start disciplining yourself to make that change that you want to see in the world your path begins to open up.  Start with small simple changes.  You do not have to drop your whole life and pull drastic changes. 

There is still my life that says I should root.  I should provide for someone.  My gut is saying that I should float around now.  I should provide for the world and not an individual.  My path is slowly opening up more and more every day, but I already know I am currently on it.
Email or leave a comment about your path.

Sunday, February 10, 2013

Day 189 - 37 years of yoga

I was back in the swing of things again today.  I went to a class with an excellent instructor in Denver.  Kathleen Swinbourne teaches a Sunday morning class at Lohi Athletic Club.  It is a gym that my friend Kelly and Dave belong to, and it was about the fourth time I have taken her class.  I love having people I know in my class, and I was lucky to have Dave, Kelly, and Marianne join me on my yoga adventures this week.

I was still feeling a bit stiff from Friday's class and I think I tweaked something slightly in my back when I was shooting my feet back in class today.  I actually felt a little tweaked on Friday, but now I definitly feel something on my left lat.  I am looking to ease up a bit over the next week and see if a massage can help me work it out.  Sometimes I push my body to the limit.  I push so hard I am now physically reminded that I need to slow down.  I am back in Ski Town USA for some more snowboarding.  Hopefully my back will heal quickly so I can get back on my board.

Moving from studio to studio and class to class I have been asked the question "How long have you been doing yoga?"  I have a new staple.  I now tell people I have done yoga for 37 years.  Yoga comes down to the breath, and if that is true I have been breathing for 37 years.  I am wanting to connect more with taking yoga off the mat.  How really we can sit and watch the world transpire around us.  We can sit and breath and choose what we want to interact with.  We are the ultimate master of our thoughts.  We can choose to hold onto our thoughts or let them pass on by like our breath.  We can continue to worry about the future or blame the past, or we can choose to live in the present.  I feel it is really as simple as that.  Breathe and live in the present.  Easier said then done though right ;)

This is the path I am striving for.  Since I feel like I gave a lot of my first 37 years learning the wrong behavior of the blame and worry, I can give myself another 37 years to reverse the pattern and practice living in the now.  How am I going to practice this?  Through yoga.  I am 6 months into it.  So only 36 more years and 6 more months.  That's a lot of blogging.

I am taking the long hard path.  The path of looking for compassion for all living things, keeping an honest life, and the acceptance for both who I am and the ever changing world around me.   This life seems much harder, more disciplined, and maybe a bit more lonely.   It is the choice I am feeling is my true path though.

Please feel free to keep sending me emails or leaving comments.  Keep life simple and real.

Day 188 - Teach how we grow

I took the day off from yoga today so I can finish my monkey mural and go to a class with Dave and Kelly tomorrow.  It was a nice day off from yoga, and it felt good to be able to paint inside today.  I love being able to paint big, so this wall size was very exciting for me.  The mural is for Dave and Kelly's baby boy to be.

Looking back over the last couple of weeks I have been paying more and more attention to the different yoga instructors.  I have seen how most instructors throw a little twist into their practice to help preach the lessons that yoga has taught them.  You can also sense some of the current growing lessons they are going through.

Today I was thinking on how I too project a lot of the lessons I am going through on this blog.  The ideas that I write about are true emotions that are coming out of me that day.  Most of the things I preach about are lessons I am currently going through.  The idea that western yoga is more about yoga instructor factories and money making marketing (see earlier blogs) is more my frustration of the feeling of a hinder of growth in my current practice due to my travels.  If I had a place where I felt a good solid personal growth I would not be blogging about this subject.  We can only really teach and write about what we know, and in this case I am writing about how I grow.

I have been feeling very needy lately.  I am recognizing that I have been talking a lot about myself and not listening as much to other peoples issues.  I feel like I have probably been venting lately because I have been around some of my close friends.  Before being in Denver I had a lot of people venting onto me.  This vented energy needs to be exhausted out of my system.  I am at the point where it is getting old.  Maybe I am just all vented out.

I also saw a cool quote on a church today.  "God gave us two hands.  One to help ourselves and the other to help others."  I try to keep religion out of my blogs for the most part, but this just seems so true.  You need a good balance of first showing compassion to yourself and then showing compassion to others.  If this balance is out of place, I think our happiness in our lives is also out of place.

Use today to help keep this balance.

Friday, February 8, 2013

Day 187 - Searching for Instant Gratification

Marianne had to leave today :(

After dropping her off at the airport I did manage to catch a night time class at Core Power Yoga.  I dropped in on a Heated Power Yoga 2 class with Marta MC.

Here is my latest on my eating habits.  I still am on the path to trying to become a vegetarian or vegan.  I want to be able to strengthen my practice of showing compassion to all living beings.  My actual goal I last set for myself was vegetarian on Monday and Tuesday and Vegan on Thursday.  I have been giving up a lot more meat then my goal has set out for.  I probably have only eaten meat or chicken once or twice a week over the last month.  So my new goal is going to be to be vegetarian 4 days a week, vegan on Thursday, and allow eating meat or chicken once or twice a week.  There are several definitions of vegetarian.  My current definition is I am able to eat eggs, dairy, and fish.  I am giving up pork, chicken, and meat.  Ultimately, I believe true compassion lies in a vegan diet, but I am going to be realistic about this and take steps in slow motion.  I want to change, but I also want to show compassion to myself and not set me up for something that will ultimately frustrate my being.

I have been thinking and talking a lot about instant gratification.  As an addict I am well aware on how our society wants to be emotional charged quick, fast, and without much thought.  We want the beer to make us happy, the pot to mellow us out, the Ecstasy to feel ecstatic, the caffeine to make us energized.   We want to have extreme emotions and we do not care how we get there.  We stop showing compassion to ourselves both physically and mentally just so we can get this quick fix.  We do not care that our drinking has caused damage to the liver.  We do not care that the McDonalds we continue to eat causes us to grow fatter.  Then when we do our damage our society demands a quick fix to fix the damage we have done.  Once again instant gratification.  There are so many more examples of instant gratification.  Looking for material things to satisfy us, such as wanting the latest Iphone, needing the new car, or buying a bigger home.  Our quick fixes continue to eat away our mind and eventually our soul.

Yoga has brought me to a place where I can look much more outside the box of quick fixes and instant gratification.  I know that yoga is going to be a lifetime of growing for me.  I will never achieve certain postures unless I keep working at it.  Life will not hand me bliss in any form.  It is not found in any instant gratification.   It is something I need to find inside myself, and it is also a lifetime of searching.

I watch more and more people turn towards rushing life and taking the short road for solutions to their "issues."  I also do not see it leading towards a path of happiness.  I choose the long road.  The one where I feel my true emotions,  live a life of honesty, and continue to grow.

I am seeing more and more the answers to happiness is not found externally, but rather deep inside of you.  Love the emails and comments.

Thursday, February 7, 2013

Day 186 - Yoga pod

Today Marianne and I traveled up to Boulder, Colorado and went to a Hot class at Yoga Pod.  The class was with Dennelle Numis and was basically Bikram style.  It was nice and hot, maybe around 95 degrees.  I remember hating hot classes, but since I have been on the road it is something that I miss back at Orlando Power Yoga.  Yoga Pod was a very clean and new place that looks like they are trying to turn into a franchise.  I have been talking a lot about this subject, but the place seemed more about making money than truly teaching yoga.  I am thinking these thoughts are coming prematurely, but I have been in other classes here that I just feel like I am really gaining knowledge and growing in yoga.  I did not feel this in yoga pod.  I think a lot of people will enjoy it, it is just not my scene.

I have been going to a lot of different studios over the last month.  I am noticing a very inconsistent teaching of whether to keep your legs straight or bend them while in postures such as forward bend.  Both philosophies seem logical.  One is stretching the back while the other is stretching the hamstrings.  I have been concentrating on keeping my legs straight and working on my tight hamstrings.  There are so many different ways to teach yoga.  Find one that is right for you.

I am realizing coming out here that I have a lot of people that love and care for me.  I am slowly weeding through the ones that I feel are not here to grow with me, and finding the ones that truly do love me.  I sometimes forget to mention that I do appreciate all of you that do love and support me.  Without you I really cannot function in this world.  Sometimes when you are out in this world experiencing life, it helps to have such a strong backbone.  Thank you for being that backbone.

I am tired tonight.  Have a good night. 

Marianne loves Hippies.

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Day 185 - Yoga factory

Today was a lazy day.  Marianne and I really felt like taking a nap.  Instead we decided to go to a yoga which matched our mood.  We went to Samadhi and took a Restorative class with Kristine Whittle.   Restorative yoga is a really relaxed type of yoga.  It is really a chance to get into a meditative state and get a nice gentle stretch.  It is somewhat like a feeling of giving yourself a massage.  After the class I felt like I had taken a nap and was refilled with power and energy.

It seems that every class I go to lately there is a giant buzz of teacher training.  Every studio is now offering some type of yoga teacher training.  It seems that more and more people are jumping on to these yoga teacher training programs.  As the studios continue to promote the "you too can become a teacher." marketing programs, more and more teachers are being thrown out into this world. 

I understand that some people may be going to these trainings to gather information to help them for self growth.  Most people are going so they can start teaching others.  The western way is teaching us that if you can do a handstand you can be a teacher.  Actually if you can't do a handstand you can still be a teacher.  This is how I see how the west is teaching yoga...

Step 1 - Come to yoga.
Step 2 - Practice yoga.
Step 3 - If you have a cheerleading, gymanist, or dancing background you are a great yogi.
Step 4 - Go to teacher training
Step 5 - You are enlightened.

I have seen people become teachers after being a student for 2 months.  The main reason studios are offering yoga teacher training programs is for money.  I do not know anyone who is turned down in most of these studios. 

Why not be a student?  Why is there always the next step in yoga?  What is wrong with being a student for 50 years?  For me I want nothing more from yoga, but to be a student.  I want to continue to dive into deeper into myself.  I want to learn more about who I am.  When I talk to people about going to yoga I encourage them to be a student.

Please feel free to send emails or leave a comment.

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Day 184 - It's not the posture

Yeah!!! Marianne came to visit me in Denver.  Tonight we went to Core Power Yoga with Isabell.  It was a hot class so it felt like we were back in Florida, except when we were done and had to go out in the cold all sweaty.   I am really happy to have Marianne here to do yoga with me.  I love being able to discuss the class and yoga with her.

As I have been talking about all week I have been going to a bunch of different studios and instructors over the last month.  I am watching people fight so hard to get into a posture.   There are so many yoga poses, and the only way you get into a posture is through practice.  I am finding the best thing to do is not get frustrated with certain postures, but rather let go.  Know that if you keep showing up each day and practice, as well as learn patience these postures will come to you.  I also find that it is actually other postures that you complete that help you get into these postures you really want to get into.  So every posture you get in is important. 

I love the challenge of getting into a new posture, but am not really caring if I ever get into the pose.  Headstand does not make a yogi, handstand does not make a yogi, forward bend does not make a yogi.  Acceptance, being yourself,  and being in the now I am finding is the key to a true yogi.  If you get stuck on the fact of whether you can or cannot do a pose you are building onto your ego. 

There is a point when I feel so accomplished when I get into a posture.  Then I have to get rid of the ego thinking that A) I am showing off from doing this posture.  B) People are looking at me.  C) I am a better yogi.  I think these thoughts have all crossed our mind during yoga at some point.  The quicker we drop this the better we become.  We are all growing.  Yoga is not about what postures you can do, it is about the journey we are on.

Please send emails and comments.

Monday, February 4, 2013

Day 183 - I am over half way through

I just realized that I am half way through yoga308.  It has been a great experience so far.  I always feel like I am at the beginning of my journey.  There is so much to learn in this world.   It's crazy it had been 183 days already.  I am trying something new today.  I did a video blog which is on the bottom of this blog.  I am trying to put myself out there a bit more, and want to feel comfortable in front of the camera.

Tonight I went to Vital Yoga and took a class with Desi Springer.  The class was called Vital Roots.  It was a class based on getting down the alignment and proper structure of the postures.  It reminded me a lot of an Iyengar class.  Desi taught the postures a little bit different then I was used to.  She has a great knowledge base, and I think if I constantly took her class I could learn a lot.  It did feel good to get down to the basics again.

I am defintly overwhelmed with the amount of different studios and classes I have been taking.  One of my main focuses on this trip was to get out of my normal routine I have found in Orlando.  I love my Orlando studios, but I think it is good for growth to dive into the unknown and change things up.  

In the last month I have been to Iyengar, Kundalini, Ahtanga, Root Yoga, Forest Yoga, Yin Yoga, Gym Yoga, Hot Yoga, and Yoga at home.  All these practices over the last month have taught me many things in their own ways.  In order to truly dive deeply into these practices you need to do it on a regular basis.  I think it is good to always keep an open mind, and be willing to try all these different types of yoga in the world.  However, I really do enjoy the Ashtanga and Dharma classes and want to concentrate on these practices again when I get back to Orlando.  In the meantime I will continue to venture out and see all the different types yoga out in this world.

I am looking for a guru or a really good teacher.  I realize that instructors are guides on our journey, but I want to find someone who will guide me through my yoga journey.  I want to find someone who does not have an ego, and wants nothing more then to give to others.  I am keeping my ears and eyes open.

Sunday, February 3, 2013

Day 182 - Kundalini

Today I went to Samadhi Center in downtown Denver.  It was my first Kundalini class.  The class was taught by Kara Brown.  Kundalini is based on waking up your energy through different breathing and postures.  There was a little chanting involved.  If you are new to yoga you would probably view this type of yoga a little more out there then many other types of yoga.  This type of yoga I think you need to drop a lot of insecurities.  You need to be OK that you pant like a dog, or chant loudly while moving your feet.  I am still a fan of series type yogas's like Ashtanga or Dharma, but I did like how it got me out of my zone.  There is a lot of knowledge to dive deep down into with Kundalini.

I did enjoy the fact that the instructor was dressed all in white (most Kundalini instructors dress in white).  Made me think a lot of my story of the woman in white (see Day 61 - The White Feather)  I also did run into the picture above where I watched the Super Bowl tonight.

I am over the days of instant gratification, and am seeking the true acceptance in life.   At one point last night though, I was getting tired of the fact that I am always trying to grow.  Why does it seem that the rest of the world is stuck in their own self absorbed life.  Why can't I just do something that would allow me to feel instant gratification?  I am over all of this, but the honesty was there was that feeling there.

I realized this morning that I have a lot of determination and dedication in my life.  I have had a lot of fun diving deeper into my soul.  I am always striving for ways to better my being and find comfort in truly meaning that I show compassion to all living things.  I can however drive myself nutts in diving deep into my soul.  There is always something we can grow on.  There is always something to improve on.

For instance, this morning I was thinking about guns and how I never have liked them.  I have had hundreds of conversations about how guns are fun, protective ect.  In my mind guns are used to detroy something and blow it into a thousand pieces.  There is not a thought of compassion while shooting a gun.  I have seen instructors asking us to show compassion to all living beings, but then are also posting pictures of them shooting automatic rifles.  It really does not make sense to me.

On the flip side, I love to play video games, and have logged in many hours on Call of Duty.  There is something to the pretend war that does not bother me.  Maybe it is the knowledge that it is not real or trying to grasp a better idea on war or what is war, but it does not bother me.  Is it ok though to be instilling these thoughts into my brain.

At what point is it OK?  I know I do not believe in shooting another living being with a gun.  Is it OK to shoot a can?  Is it OK to shoot a human online?  Is it OK to shoot a zombie online?  At what point do I decide to draw the line and say I have dove to deep into my soul.

My gut feeling is tellig me I will probably not be playing these war games much in my future.

Today I am happy with who I am.  I can improve more tomorrow or I can stay the happy and good man that I am today.

Saturday, February 2, 2013

Day 181 - "Yoga Is" revisted

It is time again to ask the question "What is Yoga."  This answer always seems to change, but I like to ask myself it every once and awhile.  This is how I feel today.

Yoga is my daily routine where I dive into myself and find acceptance of where I am in that particular moment.  It is an avenue where I can find personal growth.  As I go deeper into the postures, I also go deeper into my breath, and also deeper into my mind.  I am finding a lot more patience and acceptance in the world around me

Today my practice took me to Root Yoga for a 2 hour class with Cheryl Deer.  The class today was called "Forest Class - Up level."  It was basically a Vinyasa class with some strength building.  I enjoyed practicing handstand and scorpion pose up against the wall.  There were also a few poses I have never been in before.  The studio was nice and Cheryl knows her stuff.  She had no problem making adjustments where she found necessary.

I am finding all these different classes and studios great for my knowledge base.  However, every teacher has a different philosophy on a lot of the postures.  I think I can count 6 different positions my feet have been moved in while in downward dog.  I have to take this all with a grain of salt.  I am finding there is no real bad yoga, just the yoga that is right for you.  Ultimatly, you are in control of your practice.  I tend to listen more to the yoga instructors who have been at this for 20 - 50 years, but even then I make adjustments for my own body.

The adventure of going to all these yoga studios also leads me to miss out on some postures that I had been working on daily in Orlando.  For example I did do headstand for 3-5 minutes the other day, but have not done it since.  Maybe this is the way that the universe is telling me I need a break from some of these postures.  Or maybe I just need to practice them outside of class. 

Today overall was a very chill day.

Please feel free to email me or leave a comment.

Friday, February 1, 2013

Day 180 - See what's out there

I am back in Denver to work on my mural.  I took the day off from yoga and snowboarding and gave my body the official rest that it does deserve.  Tomorrow I am going out to some new studios in Denver.  So I am taking my Friday off and going to yoga on Sunday instead.

The drive to Denver was another moment to gather my thoughts.  Today I was thinking on how much we show our insecurities or the opportunities where we are trying to grow.    For instance, I talk a bunch about the mural I am currently painting.  This particular wall space is for a newborn.  When I first heard I was doing it, my immediate fear was that it was going to be something too scary that I paint.  I will somehow make the child dysfunctional because of my art on his wall.  If you listen to people they will be telling you their locks that they are currently unlocking.  It can be something simple like a "I just got out of the shower."  or something more complex.  I wonder if someday I could awake without insecurities and just the knowledge that I am good just where I am today.  I also think these insecurities are things that make us worry.  They are not the reasons on why we do not participate in life.

I am finding more and more everyday that I am growing through so many situations.  I acknowledge the darkness in my life that helped me gain strength and made me the unique individual that I am today.  It is at our darkest moments in life where we gain the most self awareness.  It is up to us however to gather back the light and understand that our lives are not meant to be in darkness, but rather shine brighter then the morning sun.

I also had a brief mini meltdown today.  I sometimes forget who I am.  I have so many ideas that are in my brain right now.  This happens to me quite a bit.  I get tugged in several directions by my ideas, and I sometimes do not have time to live in the present and focus where I am.  Today I saw so many great opportunities right in front of me, and I wanted to pursue them all.  My excitement was a little overwhelming.  I sometimes feel lucky to be so blessed to have so many opportunities in my life, but I realize it is I that makes these things possible.  I do not pay a victim or wait for the world to come to me.  I go after the world.  Join me.  Tomorrow lets wake up and go out and see what's out there.

Send me an email or leave a comment.