What is Yoga 308

Life is a constant struggle of balancing our body on both a physical and emotional side. Through yoga I have learned several life lessons. Yoga 308 is a goal I set for myself to do at least 60 minutes of yoga for 6 days a week for the next year. I invite anyone to join me on this adventure as I blog about some of my daily experiences. This is not intended to show that I have found peace and tranquility, but rather give my honest feelings of my journey. Enjoy.

Monday, February 18, 2013

Day 197 - I am spent

I woke up completely drained today.  I felt both physically and mentally drained.  It was a really strange feeling.  I actually crawled back into bed today at 2 and woke up at 5.  I debated sitting and meditating for an hour so I can say I did my yoga for today, but I am deciding to take day 2 off.

I am seeing today how much I push myself and how demanding I am on myself.  I think a lot of my friends and family see me as someone who has got it easy.  I have a steady income with the ability to pack up and live anywhere.  I have the option in my life to sleep all day, not work, and do nothing.  What most people do not understand is the self discipline and demands I put on myself that actually got me to where I am today.  These demands are still engraved in my head.  My life lesson for the last week has been trying to get me to sit still.  My back has limited my yoga and snowboarding so I was forced to sit still.  This sitting still has made me feel like I am not producing or moving in a forward direction.  I felt like I was wasting time not snowboarding on the mountain which was one of the primary reasons to come here.

My mind typically switches gears pretty fast.  I make the best out of any situation.  So last week I got a lot of work done, met up with old friends, and practiced being still.  When things do not go my way though I seem to fixate on the things that I do not have in my life rather then the things that I do have in my life.  This same thought process comes up when I sit still or take the day off.

I am beginning to question the whole purpose of yoga308.com.  I love yoga.  I wanted to document my growth, but I also am wondering why I feel the need for such discipline in my life.  I guess I have been around a lot of people in this town who do not have much in discipline and goals.  They are on a much different path of growth ,which is fine, but there is a fear inside of becoming unmotivated or running out of ideas.  I should experience as much as I can when I still can.  This fear has a lot to do with my drive.  I do not want to be a "bad" person so I work as hard as I can to be someone who I perceive as "good."  The best way I know how to do this is through self discipline.  Even on my sick day I am still feeling it necessary to write in this blog.  Is this for you or for me?

I have so much that I want to give to this world, but maybe the world is trying to give me the patience, acceptance, and self love required to continue this life style.