What is Yoga 308

Life is a constant struggle of balancing our body on both a physical and emotional side. Through yoga I have learned several life lessons. Yoga 308 is a goal I set for myself to do at least 60 minutes of yoga for 6 days a week for the next year. I invite anyone to join me on this adventure as I blog about some of my daily experiences. This is not intended to show that I have found peace and tranquility, but rather give my honest feelings of my journey. Enjoy.

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Day 199 - Finding stillness

I see life as an opportunity.  There are so many directions we can take.  I want to use my days to the fullest.  If I am in Steamboat Springs, CO I want to explore the mountain on my snowboard, hike with the dog, visit with friends, or drink mocha at my favorite Ciao Gelato.  I have what I dub as my responsibilities, work, yoga, blogging, and above all my pup.  If I am working I get very much involved on the internet.  If I am playing I get very much involved in that activity.  There are only 24 hours in my day, just like everyone else.  I have a mind that tries to do as much as possible, and it usually takes over and makes me crazy.

With this back injury I am being given a gift.  I was thinking back to Anamaya in Costa Rica when I first started yoga308.com.  I had a great opportunity to drop everything I was doing and just be.  I did not worry where I was going, what I was doing, or what had happened.  I lived life in stillness.  When I returned life slowly started to take over again.  My stillness began to fade as I started the "I gotta's"  again.  I gotta go to work, I gotta eat dinner, I gotta take the dog to the park.  I gotta go to yoga, I gotta plan my trip, I gotta...  I have a endless supply of I gotta's. 

I keep saying that yoga is not about jumping into a handstand or the perfect posture.  However, I think my mind still has the drive to perfect all postures.  My issue lately is dropping everything and just sitting still.  This evening I found myself sitting in my room realizing again that I do not have to do anything.  All these "I gotta's" can wait for as long as I want.  I decided to challenge myself to sit still for 1 hour on my yoga mat.  Try it.  It's pretty hard.  I decided to not have any music and my roommates were gone.  I just listened to the world.  My dog snoring, the shoveling from my next door neighbor, clicking noises from the floor heater.  I did a couple postures when I felt like it.  I concentrated on my breath and tried to connect with it.  I listened to my mind think about my breath and what posture I should do and for how long.  When these thoughts came up I went back to trying to sit still. 

So many thoughts try to penetrate my head.  Things I need to do, things from my past, other people's problems.  How I have not done handstands, gone snowboarding, yoga retreats, relationships.  Every time I told myself, "Not now, I am being still."  Should I have been looking for visions, feeling meditation, sitting up straighter..."Not now, I am being still."

I did not find what I believe to be a true and complete stillness where I sat with no worries in my mind, but I moved in a step in the right direction.  It is something I want to practice a lot more on my own.  Some parts of my life is so overpowering.  Stopping and finding the now in stillness was exactly what I needed today.