In Moab on the way to Arizona.
Well, on to day 201. What perfect timing, because I am packing my bags and heading down south to check out Sedona, Arizona with Marianne. I am still very proud. After yesterday, actually putting out to the world that I am proud of myself there seemed to be a big weight lifted off my shoulders. Maybe I am just on a high, but I feel much more focused on where I am. I feel much more alert on what I am doing. I am not as clouded as I have been in the past. I do not feel the need to get sooo much done. I feel more relaxed.
Life is good and I am striving to be as a good as a person as I can. I accept my imperfections and have my entire life and then lifetimes after that to continue to strive for a pure love, compassion, and peace. In the mean time I am me. I accept who I am now and I am proud of what I have done.
I have spent my first 37 years building up dreams, illusions, and ideas. These things that we are supposed to do in our life (go to school, get a job, make a lot of money, get married). I did this. I am self sustaining. Now what? I almost feel like I should spend the next 37 years moving backwards. Dissect the reasoning behind why I did all this in the first place.
I almost feel like my life has been a video game. I am always driving to the next level. I want to build up as many points as possible and use them when appropriate. I feel stuck on a level, but I now need to go back and try a bunch of different strategies to get unstuck. I realize now that I am happy I am on level 37 and I kind of want to jump around the previous levels for awhile and glimpse some of the things that I missed. Understand the game a little better.
I took the day off today for the long haul to Sedona. I will be finding some new yoga in Sedona tomorrow.