Tonight I went to Ashtanga Yoga with Steve Rubin at Full Circle yoga. I found a gentler side in my practice tonight. I actually felt like I was going deeper into my postures the more gentle I became. I was not trying to force anything, but rather just being and feeling.
Yesterday was a workshop that was supposed to unlock negative emotions. I do not know if mine came a day late, but I had a lot of emotions flow up today. My system feels purged.
I had a conversation yesterday about happiness and the Max Strom workshop. During the workshop we were asked to define happiness. He joked that happiness was when you no longer need to go to workshops seeking happiness. I laughed, but it also got me thinking. Am I going to yoga, workshops, and self help because I am not happy? Is there a point where I reach where I no longer need to dive deeper inside of me.
My gut tells me that I will have this inward journey for the rest of my life. That happiness is just a part of the journey. It did get me thinking though. I defined happiness as the ability to truly be me in the moment.
I am extremely drained and honestly unhappy at the moment.